Dead (Heart) Beat Dad
by penpractice
Summary: What if when Sookie found Debbie in her kitchen things had gone differently? (inspired by CH and FF - see note)


This story was inspired by Charlaine Harris and – The Fanfiction _Never Again_ by Crisi TM. As I am sure many of you have done, I read Crisi TM's story and found my brain taking her idea and drifting down yet another 'what if' path. If you haven't read her story please do, it's a very different take starting at the same point.

Dead(heart)beat Dad

_When Sookie turned on the light, Debbie Pelt was smiling at her._

_She had been sitting in the dark at the kitchen table, and she had a gun in her hand._

_Without saying a word she fired at the telepath._

Eric had still been at the car trying to work out what was causing the odd rattling noise it had been making as they drove. He heard the shot and was inside almost as fast as the bullet flew ... Almost.

Pulling her up by the hair, he sank his fangs into the were's throat, drawing deeply on her blood. It didn't taste great but he continued until her struggles died. As her heart pumped its final few beats he ripped the were's head from her body and spat the final mouthful of her blood out in disgust. _Filth_, he spat at the remains.

His anger sated he suddenly realised where he was and cringed. Sookie wouldn't like what he'd done. Still holding the head in his hand he looked back at Sookie with his best puppy-dog eyes, knowing she would be angry with him.

But Sookie wasn't angry, she was collapsed on the floor. Her blood was slowly pulsing out, soaking her clothes and the linoleum. Her eyes were open and her lips moved as she tried to get breath.

Eric was with her in a flash, discarding the head without further thought of it.

"Sookie, lover, look at me, what do I do?" He begged. Her eyes found his and she tried to smile but winced instead. "Tell me what to do." Her lips moved but even with his enhanced hearing he couldn't make out what she was saying.

Blood was still pulsing out of the wound in her chest. Eric bit into his arm and poured his blood onto it, stopping the flow and healing her. He cursed himself, he should have done that first. He should never have let himself be distracted by the were. Despite his blood, her heartbeat continued to slow. He watched his lover's face carefully, she was still looking at him with love in her eyes.

"Sookie, you need more blood," he said gently, biting again and moving his wrist towards her mouth. The light was going from her eyes. A small pucker appeared between her brows and he suspected she was struggling to see him. Gently he opened her mouth and let his blood drip in. When she didn't swallow he massaged her throat to make the blood go down.

All signs of life were going, her heart barely beat. Eric could not let her go. She was his life now, whatever existence he'd had before, none of it meant anything without her. She had saved him, now he had to save her.

He bit into his arm again and poured more of himself into her, massaging it down as he had before. It was three more bites before her heart stopped beating. Eric hoped he'd done enough. He gathered her limp form into his arms and held her, whispering sweet comfort, promising to stay with her, to look after her.

She would find it hard, she was so full of life, but he would help her, she would not be alone. He felt the tug inside that told him she was still connected to him; that his blood still lived in her even if hers no longer did. With a sad smile he kissed her head.

"I will be there for you my lover, I will show you the world again, as you showed me," he promised. Laying her gently back on the floor he went to the fridge. He had given a lot of his blood and needed to replenish for strength. The bottled stuff tasted bad and didn't offer the same nourishment as proper blood. He looked sadly at the mess on the floor. What a waste.

He'd warmed the synthetic blood in the whirring box and was drinking the first of two bottles as he surveyed the room. Sookie would not like this mess in her kitchen, she was always cleaning. After finishing the second bottle he set to work.

Gathering the body and head of the were, he swept from the house and out into the forest. He found an area that had no new scents so was probably rarely visited and used his hands to dig a deep hole, vamp speed, then dumped the remains and covered it over, sprinkling some leaves and twigs over the top to hide the disturbed earth.

These measures seemed to be instinctive, he had no memories to guide him and from what Sookie had told him of his life before he had others to deal with such things these days – or those days. These days he had Sookie, she was what mattered, she made him ... happy.

None of the other vampires he'd met since Sookie found him seemed to have the precious gift of joy she had given him. Certainly not that young one that Sookie said had left her, though he clearly wanted her back – Eric had seen that the moment he'd walked in to Pam's house. Well that vampire could not have her, no one but Eric could have her now. She was all his and the two of them would be happy, as he promised.

In fact, in a way it was a good thing what had happened, for now they would be together forever. No one could interfere, not her ex-mate nor that Pam woman, who had wanted him to leave Sookie and return to his old life. He knew Pam was his, could feel her in his blood, but she did not make him _feel_ like Sookie.

Would Sookie see it as a good thing? She had been distant over the issue of how it would be if the spell were broken. She'd said she would still see him, but he'd felt her doubt. He had not wanted to pursue the goal of breaking the curse if it meant losing Sookie. But everything was different now. Even if it worked and his memories were restored, Sookie was his and nothing could part them.

Within fifteen minutes he was back at Sookie's house. He checked her again, even though he knew there would be no change in her yet. Tenderly he stroked her hair and kissed her.

"Soon we will sleep together lover, I will stay the whole time, so when you awake it will be in my arms," he told her. Carefully he lifted her and took her to the bathroom where, after removing her clothes, he laid her in the tub before going back to the kitchen.

After a quick search of the room, he used materials he found under the sink he cleaned the blood from the floor, both Sookie's and the were's.

Once finished he went back to his lover. Her skin had already started to pale. She won't like that, he thought. Sookie was proud of her tan, even through the winter she retained a warmer glow than the other humans he'd seen over the past few days, not that there had been many.

He turned on the water. He was pleased to see her wound had healed completely before she'd died, otherwise she would retain the scar. But it had been the blood loss that killed her. Making sure the water was a nice temperature, even though he knew she couldn't feel it, he washed her clean, murmuring comfort to her throughout.

Once all the blood was gone, he lifted her out and lay her on their bed. Her scent was starting to change already but the scent of living Sookie still permeated the room. A tear escaped him as he breathed it in. A tear for her lost life.

He hoped he had done the right thing. Sookie had never mentioned becoming a vampire, but surely she would not wish to leave him, surely she would rather stay with him forever as he would stay with her. He found some fresh clothes and dressed her, ignoring the hardening in his pants as his fingers brushed over her delightful body.

Once she was dressed, he lay on the bed next to her, covering her with his arm and leg, watching her face as the small, barely perceptible (even to him) changes started to infuse her skin.

"I will love you. I will love you forever." He buried his face in her hair. "Forgive me," he whispered to her.

Sometime later he felt the first hint of dawn, perhaps an hour away. It was time to find a resting place for them both. That hole beneath her house would not work, she should be in the earth. He stood and gathered her into his arms. No signs of rigor mortis, that was good, another indication the turning would be successful.

Closing the back door carefully behind them he left the house and shot into the sky. After a quick survey of the surrounding woods, he headed for the thickest part several miles away.

For the second time that night he dug a deep hole, this one wider, with room for two to lie down comfortably. Laying Sookie in the bottom he climbed in himself and started to pull the earth over them. Once the hole was filled he manoeuvred himself in the now loose earth until he was wrapped around her.

Though the dawn was not yet ready to pull him under, he slipped into downtime. His last conscious thought was that he intended never to sleep apart from his lover again.

[~~~]

Earth and dead weight held Eric but the sun was down, it was time to rise. His senses were dulled and he felt foggy. Untangling himself, he pushed his way through the earth until he felt the air on his face. He shook his head trying to get his vision to clear and his preternatural hearing to return. Even his sense of smell reported only the earth. Pulling himself free of the ground, he stood. What the fuck?

He looked down at the loose mud he'd just crawled out of, his mind racing. What was he doing here? Where the fuck _was_ here? Irritated he brushed the earth from his clothes, only they were not his clothes, they were cheap synthetic materials in a style he would never have chosen. What the fuck was going on?

First things first, he shot into the air, luckily the trees around him were quite tall so he could hover in the higher branches keeping himself hidden from anyone looking up and at a height where almost no one could sneak up on him. His senses were still impaired and who knew what dangers lingered – what had happened to him?

He checked his pockets. No phone. When he was as sure as he could be that no one was close, he flew higher into the air to get his bearings. Once oriented, he flew at top speed towards his bar, reaching out in his blood for his child as he went. _Pam had better have some answers_, he thought angrily.

Blasting into Fangtasia he went straight into the shower dumping the 'clothing' he'd been wearing in a trash can in the store room. He felt Pam arrive as he cleaned the mud from his hair. Why the fuck had he been in the earth? He rarely went to ground that way, unless there was danger? Eric ransacked his brains for what he'd been doing the night before. He remembered a meeting with one of the witches, that absurd offer, but then nothing.

Pam was waiting in his office when he stalked in naked, she looked pleased with herself.

"Good to have you back," she said, her smile faltering as she took in his mood. "Eric?" she looked uncertain.

"Back from where, exactly?" He asked coldly.

"You don't remember?" She narrowed her eyes, confused. "If that bitch thinks she's suffered so far ..."

"What are you talking about Pam? What bitch? You need to tell me everything and you need to tell me now. I woke up in the fucking ground in trailer-trash clothing and no memory of how I got there. Start explaining." He opened his closet to find some proper clothes.

"What's the last thing you _do_ remember?" Pam asked formally, she obviously needed to know where to start her report from. Eric was glad to see she was taking this seriously at last.

"The meeting last night, with the witch. Is that why I don't remember? Did that fucking bitch cast some spell? I'll rip their whole coven to pieces and every other witch I can find too."

"Eric, that was ..."

"What?" he looked at her sharply. She appeared disturbed for a moment but straightened her spine and started to report.

"The meeting with Hallow's representative was nights ago. You were under some sort of amnesia spell which I forced her to break under torture last night. You'd better sit, do you want a human first?"

"No, tell me everything." He was hungry, the foul taste of synthetic blood lingered on his tongue, but knowing what had happened was more important.

It took an hour for Pam to report everything he'd missed, and another hour for her to answer all his questions.

"This still doesn't explain why I woke in the woods. Why was I not with Sookie?"

"I have no idea, perhaps you fell out with her. She seemed upset after the fight and left without a word to anyone. You went after her."

Eric was irritated, he didn't like the sound of anything he'd heard, except that the witches were dead and it seemed Sookie may have finally yielded to him. Naturally he liked the idea that she was his now but then why was he in the ground?

"Why did I not stay with you once the danger had passed?"

"You were quite ... attached to Sookie, you would not leave her, it was the one thing you were truly decisive about," Pam admitted. She had been forced to be frank with Eric about his behaviour. After so many had seen him under the spell it was better he knew everything she could tell him, no matter how little he liked hearing it.

"Has she called?" he asked. He checked his blood, she was there but he felt nothing specific just a strong presence, she must be sleeping.

"No, there were no messages." Eric looked thoughtful, after a moment his face turned dark with anger.

"When I am not _him_ she does not want to know it would seem, not even to make sure I returned to myself as expected." His fangs were out and his body locked solid as he controlled his overpowering emotions.

Finally he moved, forcing his face into a blank mask. "Well, no matter." Eric closed his connection to Sookie, shutting off any sense of her. "Where is the witch?"

"This way," Pam offered nothing more on Sookie, in this mood Eric would only upset the girl and Pam was well aware she owed Sookie a great deal for looking after him.

Despite his attempt to bury it, Pam could feel the pain of Eric's rejection. Few women had ever said no to Eric and even fewer had truly caught his interest. That Sookie fit both of these had been driving him mad since they met. Eric had even gone as far as to give the girl his blood, something he never did, yet still she had kept her distance. To know she might have finally let him in only to reject him again ... he was pretending, even to himself, that he was angry but really he was hurt.

However, Pam thought Eric was wrong about whatever had happened between him and Sookie the night before. Sookie had been far too protective of the amnesiac vampire to let him go off alone. She needed more information but in order to get it she would need either Eric's permission or to sneak away without him noticing (not an easy feat). There was no point pushing him on it now, it would only upset him more, she'd have to wait for a chance to speak to Sookie.

Pam followed Eric down to the basement where the witch was chained to a table. All her nails had been removed, nearly every bone was broken and her eyeballs hung from their sockets, but she still breathed. An odd rasping noise came from her as he approached. After a moment he realised she was laughing at him. Eric wasn't bothered by this, she was already yesterday's news as far as he was concerned. He thrust his hand into her chest and removed her heart. Dropping it on the floor, he turned and walked away. He had work to catch up on.

[~~~]

It was cold and dark and Sookie felt suffocated. She tried to push off whatever was covering her head and only found more. Desperately she scrabbled around. She felt the thick grainy substance all around her, the smell of earth filled her nostrils. She'd been buried! Buried alive! Reaching out with her hands Sookie pushed her way through the earth not even sure if she was heading in the right direction but too panicked to stop and orient herself.

Finally her hand broke the surface and she forced herself up after it. As her head broke free and she felt moving air on her face, she gasped desperately for breath gulping in great mouthfuls of oxygen. Pulling herself further up, she pressed a hand to her heart willing it slow down ...

... to start ...

She pressed harder trying to feel the beats she knew must be hammering from her panic ...

... her hand started shaking ...

... no heartbeat!

Slowly she held her shaking hand out in the dappled moonlight. A soft glow illuminated her skin. She'd stopped breathing again only now she realised this was because she didn't need to. It felt weird so after a moment she forced herself to take a breath. Then another. Then another.

After a few minutes of breathing she felt less panicked, but not calm. She was furious. She released a strangled cry that sent birds all around fleeing into the sky. The volume shocked her and she froze. This was not like freezing as a human, she was completely still.

She could feel the air move against her cheeks, it was almost as if her pores could taste the sweetbay, dogwood and magnolia that infused the soft breeze. She'd stopped breathing again. The living air surrounded her, but did not penetrate her cold dead body.

She felt tears threaten but held them at bay, the last thing she needed was blood pouring down her face. Blood. Just the glimpse of a thought and her stomach contracted painfully. She felt her eyes widen in fear. What if she killed someone? She could already feel how powerful the pull of this craving was.

Carefully she pulled herself fully from the earth. Well she meant to do it carefully, mud flew as she lifted herself out and the large fallen branch she'd grabbed moved easily under her strength and broke in her hand. Damn. Well she was out.

She stood and looked down at herself. She was wearing her old high-school gym skirt and an orange tabard from some brief stint working somewhere, she couldn't even remember where now. Unexpectedly she laughed, trust Eric to dress her in something so odd.

He wouldn't know of course, he probably just liked that the skirt was so short and the pinny showed the curve of her breasts through the side. No bra. Luckily the girls seemed a little firmer, not solid but not so in need of support. Eric wouldn't think about support, just access.

Suddenly she dropped to her knees, this time unable to keep the tears in. Her Eric, sweet amnesiac Eric, he must have done this, he killed her, but why?

Back to breathing: In. Out. Iiiiiiiiin. Out - ppppphhhhh.

Sookie cast her mind back to a place it didn't want to go. Debbie Pelt in her kitchen. A gun. Agony. She checked her chest but there was no wound there.

Then she remembered more, only it was patchy, coming in little flashes. Eric's pain filled eyes hovering over her, him begging her to tell him what to do. She'd tried to tell him, tried to say phone an ambulance, then later, when she felt herself going cold, to let her go, but she hadn't been able to speak, there had been no air in her lungs to push the sounds out.

Her last memory was his blood, his blood in her mouth as he tried desperately to bring her back to him.

"Oh Eric! What have you done?" she said aloud. Her own voice startled her, it sounded so different. She tilted her head listening. Wow she could hear so much. Creatures moving, breathing, even some tiny heartbeats. Trees, wow they were noisy. She wondered, if she listened closely enough, if she'd be able to hear them growing.

Her mouth opened in wonder allowing her to take in the tastes of the forest night. Sharper definition and defined contrasts had her gaze dancing from leaf to cloud to bug to grass. It was like looking through a microscope only without the magnification. Everything was just clearer, more in focus, more visible.

She shook her head clear of the distractions. Where was Eric? He wouldn't leave her here, he wouldn't just bury her and go. Did he think she'd died? Well she had, but did he not realised he'd turned her? She considered this possibility. Her memory dragged up a soft voice, floating on the wind from miles away, _I won't leave you lover, I'll stay with you always_. Then where was he?

Sookie was standing before she knew she'd moved. Whoa! That will take some getting used to. But the thought, the thought that had pulled her from her knees, was Pam. Pam was going to make the witch lift the spell from Eric. So Eric was probably himself again.

How long had she been in the ground? Several days? She tried to remember what Bill had told her about it. Two nights after dying? Or three? She wasn't sure. But sometime in there Eric had got his memory back. And then he'd left her. Just left her in the earth.

Anger flooded her body again and, without deciding to, Sookie punched the nearest tree. A horrible groaning sound was followed by the tree falling into its neighbour. Sookie looked at it in shock. Oops. After more calming breaths she examined the evidence. OK, so Amnesiac Eric had turned her after Debbie killed her. Then Pam had made the witch reverse the spell on Eric. But even when back to his sheriff-self it didn't seem likely Eric would leave her out here, even if he regretted turning her.

Her mind cast back, back when she had first started to use her telepathy for the vampires and Bill would take her to Fangtasia to practice. She had accidently dug up some forgotten memories from one of the staff and Bill had taken the girl outside to calm down. Sookie had hidden in a booth, shaking from the distress she'd felt in the girl's mind and Eric had wandered over, as if by accident, and sat with her.

He'd talked in a soft voice about the trouble unattended new vampires could cause, his gentle tones calming her. It had meant little to her at the time except something else to think about while she pulled herself together. But remembering it now, she knew, Makers were subject to severe punishments if they did not responsibly care for their progeny, and that it was viewed as an incredibly consequential undertaking, not something done lightly.

No, even if Eric, with his memory restored, didn't _want_ to be her Maker, he'd have been here. Or had someone else here. Or he'd have dug her up and killed her in some final way before she woke up. So what had happened? Had something happened to Eric? Something to prevent him being here?

Sookie racked her brains. All the vampires she knew gave the impression of being smarter than humans but she quickly decided that it must just be an air they developed rather than any enhanced ability on the thinking front. If anything she felt more stupid, completely lost and at sea.

After several minutes during which she went through about five-thousand scenarios, each more unlikely than the one before, she gave up. There was only one way to find out what had happened and that was to find Eric and ask him. Something she hadn't the slightest inclination to do right now.

She looked around her. Despite the dark, she had no trouble seeing through the forest by moonlight but all she could see was more forest. Purely at random she picked a direction and started walking. She had no idea where she was.

Her ability to see was amazing, it was hard not to get distracted by all the details she had been blind to before. She could actually _feel_ the moonlight on her skin and hear the whispered secrets of the wind; the soft snores of the sleeping grey squirrel high in his den, the gentle velvet brush of a mockingbird settling its wings, but she refused to be seduced by it all. This was not what she wanted and she would not enjoy even the smallest part of it.

As she walked, she thought. Very quickly she decided she wasn't going to find Eric. What's more, she realised she'd headed instinctively in the direction she thought home was (though she didn't know how she knew this). She changed course slightly, more towards her house and thought about Eric.

The two most likely reasons for him not being there were that he had either rejected her for some reason or that he was unable to be there due to some kind of danger. Whatever the case, Sookie decided going to visit him was a bad idea.

Also she was getting hungrier by the second and going anywhere near humans was a bad idea, she was sure she'd kill anyone she came across. It was taking a lot of control to keep herself on the path home rather than looking for prey as it was. She would go home, have a shower, find some sensible clothes and figure out what she was going to do.

After an hour of walking (she wasn't sure what speed she was going but she suspected it was slightly faster than human walking speed) the area began to feel more familiar. She started looking for landmarks. Another half an hour and she spotted the wizened old oak she and Jason had climbed once.

Jason had slipped and fallen, spraining his ankle. She'd had to support him all the way home. At the time it had seemed a long way but she knew it was only a small fraction of how far she had already travelled. Yet, she didn't feel tired at all, just even more hungry, which shouldn't be possible considering how hungry she'd started out.

Not long after, she saw the familiar shape of her home through the trees. Slowing her steps, she looked at the building she had lived in since she was a child. It was her home but not her home. Somehow she felt like an intruder.

The farmhouse was in darkness but its familiar outline, though mostly hidden from the moonlight, had cloaked itself in various shades of shadow. She knew would have just been black to her before, a dark space nestled among the trees.

Now, even from here, she could make out the old boots sitting hap-hazard by the back door, the peeling paint on the rear window frames, the small moth that fluttered against netting of the screen door to the kitchen, even with no light to draw it.

The house was empty, cold and empty like her. Maybe it was still her home after all. Maybe they had _both_ changed so dramatically in just a few short days.

In the distance she heard a car, probably on hummingbird road. It took a great deal of control to keep herself still, to not chase after it and pull the occupant from inside, to not feed the thirst that was quickly becoming all she could think about.

Gripping the nearest live oak, her fingers leaving gouges in the bark, she held herself still until the car was further off. Then she forced herself towards the house.

As she reached the porch she suddenly worried that she wouldn't be able to enter. Would she need an invite? But then the human occupant, herself, was dead. Gingerly she reached out and pulled the back door open. Feeling no resistance, she stepped into her kitchen.

She'd half expected to find blood everywhere, her own, there were clear memories of it leaving her body, but the kitchen floor was clean. Her stomach clenched again at the thought of blood and, even as she had the thought, she found herself at the fridge opening the door. Grabbing two True-Bloods, she put one in the microwave and pressed the button.

Her body was screaming with thirst but the idea of drinking blood was still repulsive. As soon as the microwave pinged she exchanged the bottles, pressing quick-start on the second as she shook the first.

Uncertainly, she opened the cap and breathed in the warm air from the open top. The smell coming from the bottle was not appetising which didn't help.

Eric had always said it didn't taste good and all vampires clearly preferred the 'real stuff' as they called it. Her mind drifted to the thought of a human, so warm and soft and full of pulsing blood, she felt the monster in her stomach yank hard on the dinner bell, demanding to be fed.

She growled at it and was pulled from her thirst-haze by the sound. After a long slow calming exhale, she put the bottle to her lips and swallowed half the contents in a few quick gulps. She shuddered. It was disgusting but she forced herself to finish the bottle and immediately followed it with the second which had pinged in the meantime.

Her thirst was reduced but only by a fraction. She heated another bottle, then another, after six she felt more in control but she knew no matter how much she drank it was not what her body was craving. She sank to the floor and cried out a good portion of what she'd just consumed.

The grief rattled her body, shaking her violently, it drew giant sobs from her throat that came so hard and so demanding, that it was a good job she didn't need to breath or she'd have been asphyxiated.

She couldn't do this! She couldn't be a vampire. She'd never wanted this. She should be dead, Debbie had killed her. She wasn't sure what had happened to Debbie but she suspected Eric had killed the were right after she'd been shot.

Vaguely she had an image of him holding a head and she pushed it aside disgusted. Not by what he'd done so much as by the way the image made her thirst rage again.

Time passed, but she couldn't track it. Mostly she felt alone. She wasn't meant to be here. She was meant to be with Gran, with her parents, with someone who shared her blood, somewhere she would never be alone again. Could she still go to them? Being what she was? Either way, she couldn't stay here.

Some instinct was telling her dawn would come, not yet but not long either. She didn't move. Distantly she considered getting more True-Blood, her thirst grew continually, but then she thought, what was the point? It would be gone soon.

The sun wasn't rising yet but it would. Already it felt like she was sitting too close to the fire. Her limbs felt heavier too. She still didn't move, though her body was telling her too. The more time that passed the harder it was to resist the instinct to find cover. She felt a tingle in her teeth and in the next moment her fangs dropped down. She hated it and wanted to make them to go back in but she had no idea how to get them to retract.

Her body was shaking as she fought to stay on the floor, fought to wait for the sun. Her fangs seemed to be straining at her teeth, demanding to be recognised, to be acknowledged. She hated them. She hated Eric. She hated herself. She hated _everything_ in this moment.

Then she was up and walking. Her body took her to the spare room, to the closet. She was in the hidey hole, closing the door over herself and settling her limbs to rest. Her last thought, after the surprise, the resistance, and the acceptance, was that she would just have to try again tomorrow morning.

[~~~]

When she awoke on her second night as a vampire Sookie could think of nothing but blood. She went straight to the fridge and grabbed several bottles to heat. Then several more. She'd had quite a stock in, both for Eric and in case the other vampires visited again, but she would run out quickly the way she was going through them. With each feeding, though she drank more, it did less to quench the thirst that threatened to consume her.

She threw one of the bottles against the wall shattering it across the kitchen. A car drove down the parish road. Once again through sheer force of will she held herself in place. Once it was gone she breathed a sigh of relief, but her respite was short lived. The car had reminded her of the world beyond her house. A world where her few friends would eventually come to look for her.

Sam or Tara. What if they came to the house? She would kill them, she knew she would. She wouldn't be able to stop herself. Or what if Bill came here? He would know what had happened immediately. He would take her to Eric. Eric who had abandoned her. She had to think of a way to make sure they stayed away until she was strong enough to resist the instincts that made her hide from the sun.

It took hundreds of drafts before Sookie was satisfied with the wording but eventually she had a small pile of carefully worded notes. Some to her friends, for their safety; some to the vampires for hers. She hadn't needed to write one for Jason, he'd left a message on her answering machine. Something about running off with a girl to escape that girl's crazy ex – it explained why he'd disappeared, but Sookie found, between her grief, her anger, and the ever present thirst, once she knew he was safe and far from her, she couldn't think about her brother much.

The notes were carefully phrased, with just the right tone directed at each person, to ensure they stayed away from her and from her house. Some were harsh, cruel even, but it was necessary. Besides she was a vampire now, cruelty was her nature, wasn't it? She didn't bother writing to Eric, he either wouldn't or couldn't help her – there was nothing more to say on that.

But she did write to Pam saying that she wanted nothing more to do with any of them, that if Pam was even the slightest bit grateful for all Sookie had done for them she would ensure she was left alone. She doubted Eric had told Pam what he'd done, Pam would have come to her, called her, something. It had been Pam that had made Eric tell Sookie about Bill – she was loyal to Eric but she called him on his shit.

It wouldn't matter soon. Sookie had no intention of remaining a vampire. She just needed enough time to do what needed doing. Judging by the strength of the pull that took her to the hidey hole at dawn, she thought it might be several nights before she had the strength to fight it for long enough to meet the sun. She would need more True-Blood. She couldn't risk going out. What if she hurt someone? She was sure if she got near a human she wouldn't be able to keep from feeding.

After searching the yellow pages, Sookie managed to arrange for a large order of True-Blood to be delivered to her house during the day. She paid over the phone using her debit card and told them to leave the delivery on the back porch. She left her letters in her mailbox, carefully lifting the small flag that indicated there was mail to be collected without snapping it off (quite a challenge with her new strength). Then, after a few more bloods, she watched videos until it was time to fight the instinct to hide.

The next night, the smell of human from the delivery man that had left the True-Blood nearly broke her resolve, nearly sent her hunting for the food source her body hungered for. But she drowned that desire in the synthetic substitute, drinking it almost constantly to keep the craving at bay.

It was getting harder. Fighting so hard to deny one instinct, she had no fight left for the others and she barely resisted when her body took her to hide at dawn. She needed a new plan.

[~~~]

The trees flew by as she ran. The feel of the wind was nice but she didn't pay any attention to it. Just as she didn't pay any attention to all she could hear and see. Like her thirst, her senses had continued to grow stronger as the nights passed. How many nights? She wasn't sure now. More than four she thought.

On the fourth night she'd tried to chain herself in silver, or that had been the plan, but she hadn't even been able to approach the chains she had released Bill from the night they met. It didn't make any sense to her that, being dead, her instincts still fought so hard for survival.

After that, time passed in a blur of blood-lust. She'd forced as much True-Blood down her throat as she could but it no longer had any effect on her thirst. It was all a lie. Vampires couldn't live off synthetic blood, it was simply something their bodies could ingest. Her anger boiled inside her cold body. Several trees near her house had felt her fury.

Her fangs remained out constantly now, no matter what she did, and regular growls emanated from deep inside. She wanted blood, she wanted revenge, she was going to Fangtasia.

Instinctively she stalked the shadows once she got to Shreveport. There was no sense of 'Eric' inside her, just a loneliness that would have been all consuming if it wasn't for the thirst. She was no longer connected to life, and the only thing she _was_ connected to had abandoned her, she felt empty. But she knew where her Maker was, there would be people there too. People that had blood in them. Blood filled humans. Blood.

Blood and blood and blood and blood and blood...

[~~~]

Eric was working in his office. He ignored the tingle in his blood telling him to open his connection to Sookie, just as he had every other time he'd felt it. He'd slipped a couple of times, the first night or two, but felt nothing except her presence, just as when his memory had first returned.

He suspected he must have given her more of himself, quite a lot more, while he was under the curse, her pull on him seemed much stronger than it had been. When, on the third night, he started getting tingles of feeling he deliberately ignored them, keeping their connection closed with the strongest will he could muster.

She had rejected him for the last time. Whatever had happened that last night, before he'd woken alone in the woods, was the last time she was going to turn on him. From what Pam had told him, he would not have left Sookie voluntarily, which meant she had told him to leave, even before he recovered his memories.

Why had she done it? Because the danger had passed? Or maybe because Bill had returned? Either way, she'd turned her back on him. He would not allow anyone to treat him this way. And he would _not_ allow himself to care. He strengthened his block on their tie for the hundredth time that night.

It had been over a week now and it was getting harder not easier, he redoubled his efforts after a sigh, determined that he felt nothing from, nor anything for, Sookie Stackhouse! He could, however, feel Pam approaching and hear another vampire was with her. He quickly made himself look busy. Pam knocked.

"Come," he said.

"Shreveport's _finest_ to see you," Pam announced making her dislike for the vampires that worked for the human police clear. Eric was surprised. He didn't have much contact with them. Though they reported in occasionally as vampires that resided in his area, they had not sworn fealty to him as all other vampires under him did, they were outside of the usual system.

They had a mutual respect though and he'd never had problems with them. Even the raid, back when he'd first met Sookie, had all been cleaned up to everyone's satisfaction – thanks to the fact he was able to leave before they arrived.

"Sheriff Northman," the vampire nodded to him. "We were called to an incident this evening which we felt should be bought to your attention." Eric raised his eyebrow in question. "Long story short we arrested a new vampire tonight."

"Not someone from my area then? No one has checked in." Eric was relieved, they could hardly hold him responsible for some rogue passing through.

"No, I mean a baby vampire, a few days old, a week a most." That got Eric's attention.

"What does his Maker say?" Baby vampires were slaves to their instincts, they should not be held responsible for anything they did, their Makers had that job. Occasionally a particularly wily new-born could outsmart their Maker but then the Maker was expected to ask for help, not asking made you as guilty as if you'd allowed them to run free.

"No Maker, just her. She's pretty much starved. It's amazing she's not further gone than she is." Eric was standing in anger without having decided to lift himself from his chair. The vamp cop, feeling the same, continued. "We caught her trying to hunt but she didn't know what she was doing. If we hadn't intervened she'd have killed the human before she even managed to feed. If I had to guess I'd say she hasn't had any training or guidance at all."

Eric growled. The transformation to vampire was hard, the support and guidance of the Maker was vital. He had done everything he could to make it easy on Pam, unlike _his_ Maker who had only been interested in his own gratification. But even _he_ made sure Eric had the necessary skills and knowledge to survive.

"What will you do with her?" Eric asked. He knew what human law dictated but that didn't explain why the vamp cops were at Fangtasia.

"I remember when I was made," the cop explained, softening slightly for a moment. "She was alone, we checked. No hint of another scent on or near her." He hardened again. "You find her Maker and we'll happily charge that vampire but she's not responsible."

"Has she given you a name? A description? Anything?" Eric was happy with the cops' attitude, happy enough to be less guarded.

"She isn't exactly in any state to give more than a few growls." It was clear the cop approved of Eric's response in return and because of that was prepared to be both more open and more lax about the official procedures.

"You haven't fed her?"

"We don't carry anything but True-Blood." He gave the sheriff a significant look. "Judging by the state of her, I'd say she's not fed for a night or two."

There was no need for further discussion. They all knew synthetic blood did little more than tide you over until a proper meal. Too long without human blood and a vampire became weakened. For a new-born synthetic would be practically useless.

Baby vamps needed proper blood and lots of it to gain their true strength, to learn to control their new instincts. A single night without could be torture, it was a favourite punishment of his own Maker in the early days. But longer than that was dangerous. It was possible this poor creature was already beyond help.

"If I find her Maker you expect me to hand them over?" Eric wanted to punish whoever it was himself, slowly and painfully, but he didn't like the idea of hassle with the breather-dogs. The vamp-cop looked at his face for a long moment.

"No humans were hurt, the only witness is this guy," he handed over a name and address. "Our report will read that we found nothing when we went to investigate the call." Eric nodded. Care for new-borns was one thing all decent vamps felt strongly about, the only disagreements that came up were about finding a bad enough punishment for irresponsible Making.

"Pam," he said. She was beside him in a flash, he handed her the paper and she was gone. The human would remember nothing and be compensated if any harm had come to him.

"Where is she?" Eric asked the vamp-cop.

"In the van. We had to silver her. I wasn't happy about it, young and weak as she is, but she's out of control, keeps trying to bite." Eric had seen vampires in similar states, they'd bite anyone and anything that got near them and often did a great deal of damage to themselves in the attempt to escape any restraint. Silver was the only option, cruel as it might seem, it prevented the vampire from hurting themselves as well as anyone else.

"I have a vampire holding cell built below the storeroom. She'll be best off there until I can establish her state of mind. I keep some donor blood so I can feed her, see if she will settle. If it's not been too long or if she's a strong one, she might still be OK." New vampires that didn't feed or were left to their instincts went feral. Once they got beyond a certain point there was no coming back. Such creatures had to be put down, they were a danger to everyone. Both Eric and the cop hoped that wouldn't be necessary but they knew there was a good chance it would be.

Eric's phone rang and he held his hand to pause the other vampire while he answered it.

"Something is wrong," Bill announced down the phone as Eric accepted the call. Eric rolled his eyes. He hadn't seen or heard from the investigator since his curse, but he figured he'd show up sooner or later.

"I am busy with another matter right now," Eric said.

"Don't worry sheriff, we can get the nestling down to the basement, it will be easier with just the two of us," the cop said backing out with a nod.

"Thank you officer," Eric nodded back as politely as he could with a clenched jaw then returned to the call.

"Fine, what is the problem Bill?"

"Something has happened at Sookie's house." Bill sounded close to panic.

"How very specific of you. I understand Sookie has requested all vampires stay away from her." Pam had reported Sookie's message, Eric had been furious to feel the sting of rejection once again but feigned disinterest.

"Yes but I was ... passing and I noticed ..." Bill could be a good liar at times. This, however, was not one of those times.

"You went to spy on her, against her wishes, and now you wish to involve _me_ in your stalking. I have no current interest in Miss Stackhouse, Compton." Eric was ready to end the conversation there.

"But ..." Eric hung up. Sookie. Why was she always everywhere?

Resisting the temptation to check on Sookie in his blood and ensuring the connection was tightly closed, he walked out of his office towards the entrance to the basement. One of the cops was just coming back up.

"We found the donor blood in the fridge, Mike's just feeding her now. She calmed immediately when the blood hit, she might be OK with the proper care." He sounded more hopeful than he had, perhaps it had not been as long since she'd fed as they'd feared.

"Let's hope so," Eric said.

[~~~]

Eric walked slowly down the steps to the basement. His feet sounding clearly on each step. Water dripped down the walls, the water table was too high here for basements really but they were necessary to the existence of vampires, damp was not nearly so much of a problem as light.

The vamp-cops, like human-cops, always had blankets. For the vampires this was to hide identity more than anything else usually but Eric knew they had wrapped the baby vamp in one because they didn't want to see her suffering.

A starving vampire was rarely a pleasant sight – perhaps a true enemy – but even then, while vampires would harm or torture beyond the point healing, so blood was needed for that, it was not the same.

A starving new born was the worst of all, there were very few older vamps that wouldn't give up a meal to such a wretched creature. For a Maker that allowed their child to get in this state, there was no punishment bad enough.

The smell of earth, dried blood and stale synthetic blood assaulted his senses. What on earth could have happened to this poor youngster to be in such a state? Perhaps the Maker had been killed somehow? He hadn't heard of anything but he'd been out of things himself for the period of his curse, maybe he'd missed something?

The baby-vamp was crouched in a corner, clearly frightened and hiding under the blanket so Eric could not make out so much as a glint of an eye. The blanket-shrouded shape shook and small growls escaped like whimpers of pain.

"Who is you Maker?" He demanded, approaching cautiously, baby vamps could attack without warning at times and Eric didn't want to have to harm her. The shape in the corner flinched but didn't respond.

There was blood on the floor where she'd made a mess of the bags of donor blood in feeding. This was the problem when vamps were too starved or untrained, they wasted more than they drank. Even experienced vamps could make a mess of feeding if allowed to get too famished, look at the mess Bill had made of Sookie that time.

Eric pushed thoughts of the telepath away angrily. He would have to order more donor blood.

New vamps could drink constantly and not get full. After a night or two without she would need a lot just to calm her thirst to a bearable level, he was surprised she had calmed as quickly as she had. Her Maker must be old, only ancient blood would make such a strong fledgling.

This made Eric even angrier, such an experienced vampire should know better! He was already compiling a list of tortures he would be visiting on the one responsible, and that would be _before_ they were given the opportunity to explain. What else he did to them would depend on what they had to say for themselves, but no excuse would make such flagrant dereliction of duty acceptable.

"You need more blood," he said to the huddle figure, "I'll get you ..." He was surprised to see the figure shaking its head. She was still covered by the blanket but the gesture was clear. He could think of only one reason for a starving new-born to refuse the offer of blood. Her Maker must have told her to, made some order that was only superseded by her urges once she went beyond a certain point. Eric's fury at her Maker grew.

"Which vampire turned you?" He demanded angrily. She was still shaking her head, only now the rest of her was shaking violently too. He tried to calm himself, of course she was scared.

"I have no wish to harm you," he tried to reassure her. "You are too young to be held accountable. That is why I must find your Maker, they have a lot to answer for, you should not ever have been left alone."

There was a long pause but Eric stayed silent, the figured had stopped shaking.

"You will punish him?" Came the lightest of whispers. The sound gave Eric hope, not only had he at least ascertained she knew something of her Maker, he heard the hope in her voice, she wanted her Maker punished, she would tell him what he needed to know.

"Yes, I will punish him," he assured her, moving a little closer. His blood was uneasy but he continued to ignore the feeling, lately it only led him to think of Sookie. He had responsibilities, he had his duties as sheriff, he would not allow these unwanted feelings to distract him anymore.

"How will you punish him?" Whispered the ragged voice.

"Irresponsible procreation is one of the most severely punished crimes among vampires. Your Maker will be made to suffer intensely for not taking the proper care of you. He will feel all your pain and more. But first you _must_ tell me who he is."

Slowly a blonde head emerged from under the blanket, with it came a scent, completely new yet as familiarly recognisable as his human mother's had been to his human self. Eric was frozen in shock before the word even left her mouth.

"You."

[~~~]

The bond he'd been fighting to keep closed burst open and he felt Sookie's pain: Her sadness, her anger, the loneliness, the betrayal, and the desperate hunger that even now she was fighting. It was too much. He shut down the connection again trying to think. Her eyes were accusing as she looked at him.

When he didn't move she flung herself at him. He avoided her easily and watched wide-eyed from just out of reach as she fought the silver restraints, trying to hurt him. Her fangs were out and she was snarling. The small amount of control she'd had from the donor blood was gone. Once again she was lost to all reason.

Eric wasn't feeling very sane himself. He backed away, unable to turn until after the basement door was closed behind him, and returned to his office in shock.

That Sookie was a vampire was staggering enough, but the rest ...

He wanted to deny it, to say she was wrong or ... but he knew it, from her scent, from her blood screaming at him, from his blood screaming back. It was all too much.

How had this happened?

_When_ had this happened?

Eric's mind started working enough for the pieces to fall into place. Waking in the woods, no memory, no word from Sookie ... he'd turned her while he'd been under the curse. But why?

Sookie had never wanted to be a vampire they all knew that. Had she changed her mind? Or had his other-self forced this on her? From what Pam said that was unlikely but you could never trust that a vampire was what he seemed, he knew that better than anyone. Had his other-self fooled them all and then turned Sookie against her will?

He put the issue to one side, he would find out. So, he had turned her. She had probably been buried in the woods with him. He had been disoriented and fuzzy when he awoke from the spell, she must have been right there and he hadn't even noticed. Which meant ...

His memory had been restored the night after the witch war. From Pam's account, Sookie had been human when they were fighting so he must have turned her that night, after they left Shreveport.

Even if she slept the full three nights, which was possible, despite the age of her Maker (Eric was still struggling with the idea that Sookie's Maker and himself were the same vampire), she'd been a risen vampire for almost a week.

He'd slept with her the first day which was the vital period, turnings were rarely successful without that important contact. But since then she'd been alone. She must have sent the messages for them to stay away after she woke. Why?

If she thought he'd left her there intentionally why bother at all? How had he not heard anything? Even without checking on her, if Sookie had been running around Bon Temps as a vampire he'd have heard something, even Bill didn't seem to know.

And what of the Shifter? He may not like it but surely he knew enough to know Sookie would need help through the adjustment phase? He thought about what he knew of Sookie.

Stupid stubborn girl! She'd told no one, it was the only explanation. Did she think she could undo it? Or that she could manage alone? He would have to go to the house. Bill had said there were signs of a disturbance. Bill. He would find a way to keep him away until he had a handle on things.

[~~~]

Eric was furious with himself. If he'd been paying attention he'd have known that the bond he felt with Sookie had completely changed in nature, but he had been so angry. Angry about everything that had happened; the spell, the witches, and Sookie herself. And then not to remember any of it, thinking that she had rejected him the second she knew the spell would be broken, rejected him the minute Bill had returned. His anger had made him ignore what his body knew, what his instincts knew.

He flew straight to her house taking his anger out on his flesh by pushing himself higher and faster than was comfortable. Landing in her back yard, Eric took a moment to collect himself while his skin healed. His clothes were shredded but he didn't care.

He took his time examining the surroundings. There were a couple of felled trees, which must have been what had prompted Bill to call him. He found Bill's scent easily, luckily the young vampire hadn't got too close to the house yet but Eric knew Bill would be back.

Pam had told him that the witch taunted Bill the night Pam forced her to undo the spell. She had laughed at the young vampire, told him '_your bonds are broken, you will never feel her again._' Bill hadn't said anything about it but of course he wouldn't be able to feel Sookie anymore.

It explained why Bill had only just realised something was wrong. He had obviously thought this was the witch's doing. Did he think Eric's bond had been broken also? Whatever the case, for now Eric was determined to keep him in the dark about what had really happened.

He found the trail where Sookie had emerged from the woods. He now knew why the witch had been laughing at him, despite the state of her, despite her life ending. She knew. She knew what he had done, and that he did _not_ know, that he was making an error for which there was no fix.

He could not give Sookie back her life, he could not even give her back those few days of agony. He had often thought his Maker was the very worst a Maker could be, now he realised how wrong he'd been.

He approached the back door. It was unlocked and he entered easily. Broken furniture was scattered around the kitchen which was also littered with broken glass and empty True-Blood bottles. So many bottles, far too many. She had persisted in drinking it long after she must have realised it wasn't helping her thirst.

Beneath the smell of old synthetic blood was the sweeter and unmistakable scent of Sookie's blood. She had bled in this room, was this where he did it? Was this where the life she had held so dear ended? Why had he done it? Had she fought? He'd felt the hate she held for him now. Even if he couldn't have felt it, it was painted all over her face, it filled her eyes making them cold in a way he never thought he'd see in Sookie.

Eric sank to the floor amid the mess and carefully opened the link to his new child. Misery. It was overwhelming. There was anger and hate and frustration but mostly there was loneliness.

What had he done?

All living creatures were connected, there was a vital energy that was part of them and part of everything else. Vampires didn't have this energy, theirs was something altogether different.

But they craved it. It came with the blood, and though vampires couldn't store it they could taste it. The thirst they felt was as much a hunger for this energy as for sustenance.

This was why synthetic blood would never do and even donor blood was not as good. The only connection a vampire had to anything was to their blood family, their Maker, blood-siblings etc., and, for those few minutes when they fed, to the human they fed from.

Without those ties a vampire was completely alone in a way no _living_ creature would ever experience. For a new vampire, a baby fresh from life, to feel that disconnect, it was a cruelty beyond imagining. A cruelty he had inflicted when he shut Sookie off. What had he done?

He'd been blocking Sookie so hard over the last week he realised he'd also prevented any connection between Sookie and Pam. He couldn't yet think about what Pam would say, how angry she would be with him. Slowly he continued to open the bond until it was his focus, with only a small part of him keeping Pam separated from it.

He sank into himself thinking. What had happened? What did he know? What could he guess? And most vitally, what was he going to do next?

It was much later when he felt a tug from Pam to indicate she wanted to speak with him. He would have to tell her, he needed her help. He suspected that by the end of the night both of his children would hate him. Sighing, he got to his feet and started making arrangements to have all the evidence removed and Sookie's house cleaned.

[~~~]

Eric had been gone a long time and Pam could hear the hungry snarls of the poor creature in the basement. She had been lectured long and repeatedly regarding the responsibilities of Making. While Eric was in full support of her Making her own child or children when she was ready, he was very clear on the punishments she would receive should she fail in her duties to any progeny she turned.

As his child, he would be harder on her than any other, she had no excuse not to be fully aware of what was expected. He had made her promise that she would come to him should she have the slightest problem in that area and need help, _before_ the child suffered.

He must have gone after the Maker, it was the only thing that might distract him from the new-born's care. Perhaps the Maker was proving difficult to locate or contain? Pam could not imagine Eric would intentionally leave a poor starving fledgling this long.

He had asked her not to go down to the basement, most likely out of concern for her, both because a starving vampire was a danger to all and that to see one of their own in such a state was never pleasant. As much as her vampire nature might enjoy violence when it was necessary, there was no enjoyment to be found in the struggles of a baby vampire suffering the ravages of new instincts.

They had all had some experience of the difficulties of the change, no matter how supportive your Maker. Even if you were happy for the chance of an alternative existence as Pam had been, it was still a difficult thing to go through.

Eventually Pam could take it no longer, she decided to go down and feed the new-born. She had to admit to herself she was curious. Eric had been very affected and she almost pitied the Maker that would facing his wrath when found.

The vampire silenced when Pam opened the door and started making her way down the steps. Pam was on alert. In some ways the very young could be as dangerous as the very old because they were so unpredictable and the strength of their instincts meant they did not hold back. None of which prevented some from being very crafty.

She could detect Eric's familiar scent as she made her way down, and another scent, also familiar but different, she couldn't place it. She quickly picked out the vampire huddled under a blanket and watched as it backed away until pressed right into the furthest corner. Something was off, her skin prickled with it.

She tried to identify any features but the creature kept itself covered so that even her sharp eyes could make out nothing. From the size she'd guess the vampire was female, but it could be a smallish male, it wasn't petite enough to be a child. Though she couldn't make out the eyes, she knew they were watching her as she entered the space and went to the fridge to get some blood out.

She watched the shape carefully as she heated the donor blood, the shape watched back motionless.

Pam knew exactly how far the silver chains would stretch and moved to be just out of reach.

"I have blood for you," she said. The vampire didn't move. Not one for extending the suspense, Pam split a small hole in the bag to let the scent out. The vampire flinched and growled but stayed in the corner. Pam was impressed.

"It is good you have such control," she said calmly. "If you feed now you will get more benefit than waiting until you have none. I can see you already wasted a great deal from being too hungry before. What good will it do to get to that point again?" The shape finally moved a little and Pam knew her words had made an impact.

"Pam," came a whispered voice. Pam tilted her head making what she could of the sound. It was more than an acknowledgement of who she was, it was a plea to her.

"Have we met?" she asked. Had she known this creature before it was turned? Very slowly the vampire slipped the blanket off her head.

"Fuck a zombie!" Pam said as she realised who she was looking at. A growl escaped her and her fangs came out. "Who did this?" she asked angrily as Sookie looked at her. That bastard Bill would suffer many lifetimes if he was responsible.

"He didn't tell you?" Sookie asked, anger radiating from her. Pam stayed silent, trying to get her head around what was happening. "He's a coward!" Sookie spat.

Pam took in what her friend was saying, but she couldn't mean ... Pam could almost _feel_ her friend's anger, her fear, her loneliness. Then she realised, she couldn't feel it, she could feel Eric feel it. On top of that she could smell the mixed scent of the telepath and vampire with a slight undercurrent of her Maker that would become a little stronger in the weeks to come. All the evidence was there but Pam could not accept it. He wouldn't. He couldn't.

Sookie's gaze moved from Pam's face to focus on the blood in her hand. Her body was shaking with need. Forgetting that Sookie was a new-born, that there was danger no matter how well they knew each other, Pam moved forward and knelt before her.

She held out the bag and placed the hole at Sookie's mouth. It was clear that Sookie wanted to resist and also that she couldn't. Pam tipped the bag so some blood spilt onto Sookie's lips and the girl latched on.

Pam held the bag the whole time as Sookie drank, draining the lot quickly. She fetched a second and did the same. As she was about to get up and fetch a third Sookie grabbed her wrist.

"No," she rasped. "No more, please." Sookie was ashamed. Eric was blocking her from feeling Sookie directly at the moment but knowing what she was looking for she could pick up the girl's feelings from her Maker's reactions.

"But you are still hungry," Pam said surprised. Even without the link through their Maker (that was going to take some getting used to) Pam would know Sookie needed more blood, a lot more.

"I don't need it. Pam, you have to help me." Sookie kept a firm hold of Pam's wrist, her eyes were begging.

"Of course I will help you, that's what I'm doing. I am sorry this has happened, I know you did not want it, but now it has I will help you, you are not alone," the emptiness inside Sookie was a big black hole that threatened to swallow the girl and drag Eric in behind.

Pam remembered her own experience of the disconnect, it was what turned vampires so cold to humanity, wanting so much to be a part of something when they no longer were. It made most vampires hate those that were still connected, humans were just blood-bags, inferior.

Occasionally a vampire would find a human that would slip through this armour, as Sookie had for Eric. Pam knew Eric had considered bonding with her, it gave the vampire a connection to the life-energy again, in a limited way. But it was never the full connection they craved and sooner or later the human would be turned, or die. Losing the proxy connection could be almost as hard as losing the full connection the first time.

Most Makers tried to help their children with the adjustment as much as possible. Eric had shared his feelings with her often, making her focus on their connection, to fill the hole. But Eric had been blocking Sookie, she knew he had, she just hadn't known ...

"I don't want this, I can't do it." Sookie made no effort to stem the flow of the blood tears that ran down her face. The fresh rivulets joined the dried blood that clung to her skin from previous crying. Tearing some material from her dress, Pam started to wipe Sookie's face as best she could. "You have to help me Pam. I tried but I can't do it myself," Sookie begged.

"Do what? I know feeding can seem hard at first, you must let go of your human conceptions and trust your vampire instincts." Drinking blood was a strange concept while your humanity lingered, there could be equal feelings of desire and disgust, but you came to realise it was no different to humans eating other animals, and it wasn't like you had to kill to feed.

"No! I will not be a vampire Pam, I can't! You must help me." Sookie was trying to hold her eyes, trying to draw a promise, there was even a hint of glamour to the intensity, though Sookie obviously didn't know it or how to use it.

"I don't understand," Pam admitted, though she was trying.

Sookie took a moment, trying to gather her thoughts through the gathering thirst that was already returning. Pam wanted to give her more blood but she had not let go and Pam didn't want to rip herself away when Sookie was already feeling so abandoned. Finally Sookie spoke.

"I died. I died that night. I should not be here. It is a mistake. He didn't mean to do it and I don't want it. If we end it now ..." Pam ripped her hand back and looked at Sookie in shock, realising what she wanted.

"You don't mean that." But Pam knew Sookie was sincere.

"I do, I have thought of nothing else. I have tried, every dawn, but the call to hide is too strong." Pam could picture it, could practically feel her sister's distress but she could not agree to what Sookie wanted from her. She fell back to her practical reason, it was her go-to stance.

"There is a reason for that. What you're feeling, it happens a lot, but once you settle, once you accept, it is not so bad." She spoke calmly, matter-of-fact, she was right and Sookie was wrong and that was all there was too it.

"No. Please Pam, I will never accept this." Sookie was getting more and more desperate, she reached out to Pam again but Pam kept herself from the girl's grasp.

"I can't Sookie, it is forbidden. And even if that were not the case, you are asking me to kill my friend, my sister."

"Your friend is already dead, I have nothing left but suffering and anger. It is cruel to make me continue like this," Sookie was not beyond emotional blackmail it seemed. Pam softened in the face of so much distress but she would not give in.

"It will not always be so," she tried to reassure Sookie.

"For me it will be." There was almost no fight left in her.

"You're wrong," Pam said with certainty. She went and heated another bag of blood and placed it by Sookie without a word, then headed back up the steps.

"I hate him," Sookie said behind her. Pam paused but didn't turn round.

"Right now, I do too," Pam agreed.

Once upstairs she locked the door firmly and pocketed the keys before going to wait in Eric's office. She sent him a quick call to let him know she wanted him without making it urgent. Part of her hoped it would be a while before he got back, she needed to get her head around the vampire in the basement.

[~~~]

"You have to do it," he insisted.

Pam and Eric had talked and argued, they'd both yelled, they'd both cried. Pam didn't think either of them had expressed so much emotion in all the years they'd been together as they had in this one night. Now her Maker was kneeling on the floor before her, the plastic sheet beneath him crackling, asking her to commit an act that went against every instinct she had.

"Pam you _have_ to," he repeated when she didn't answer.

"Eric no, I can't." More blood escaped Pam's eye and he felt her rush of anger. Pam hated to cry.

"It should be much worse, but it has to be something that will not show while I am working. I cannot do it myself or I would. I will block the pain from you, you will not feel it." Eric was speaking with a cold practicality she knew he did not feel.

"That is not the problem and you know it." She glared at him.

"If you don't do it I'll have to ask someone else." Pam finally went quiet, knowing, though he could have commanded her and hadn't, she still had no choice.

After a long pause she took the silver pliers from him, having to yank them away from where they'd burned into his skin. He'd picked them up by the silver end to hand the covered handles to her. Eric met her eye from his position on the floor and nodded with encouragement before blocking their bond and then dropping his fangs. Even without the bond she could see he was braced for the pain.

As much as she didn't want to do this, having agreed Pam was as practical as she could be. The quicker she could do it the better for everyone. She straightened her spine, exhaled, then got to work.

[~~~]

Eric was still on his knees on the floor, only now his forehead was also on the plastic sheeting he had used to cover the carpet. His whole body was tense as he dealt with the pain of what he'd ordered Pam to do. Blood had run down his shirt and soaked into his jeans. Puddles of it had gathered in tiny lakes on the sheet.

Eric was shaking with pain and small noises continued to escape him, though it was nothing to the cries he had given as she worked, removing both fangs, one after the other.

Pam turned and looked at the wall instead of watching him. Her fangs ached with just the thought and it was taking all her control to hold herself firm and be what her Maker needed from her right now.

"Pam." A bubble of blood popped from his lips with the word, smothering the plea with sticky viscosity. She turned keeping her face blank. He was trying to push himself up from the floor but having your fangs ripped out weakens a vampire incredibly and he couldn't get up.

"Help me go down there," he slurred, holding one hand out to her. His eyes were so sad. It was the only time Eric had ever looked young to her.

"Not yet," she said firmly. She gave him a look and he nodded then put his forehead back on the floor. He was right that Sookie needed to see that he had been punished as promised, but _she_ was right that he only wanted to go down so soon in the hope that Sookie would feel sorry for him. He wouldn't feel that way in a moment, when his strength started to return. He would hate that he'd even asked, but Pam would never mention it again.

Many hours later Eric raised his head. By now pain no longer ravaged his face. After a pause he pushed himself up and stood. Pam turned back to him again and he met her eye, nodded in thanks, then held out his hand. She dropped his fangs into his waiting palm.

She could tell by the scent that his gums were still bleeding, they would for a while, it was the one wound where the older you were, the longer it took to heal.

Still, a lot of his strength had returned already and after a day-rest his weakness would not be noticeable to most, though he'd still feel the pain. The 'human' part of the teeth, would return during the day, so unless a demand came where he should expose his fangs (which could take months or longer to return to full length) he would appear to be his usual self.

This was why it was the best punishment for him. If _known_ to be weakened, his whole area could come under threat. This way he would feel his punishment without anyone else having to know. Inspection of the gums would reveal a slight indentation but Eric was not going to allow anyone that close.

The secrecy would also provide Sookie with the protection of no one knowing Eric had turned her until she was ready to go public. Again, as a new vampire she would be at risk from many, especially Eric's enemies.

Eric curled his fingers over the fangs in his palm and headed towards the basement. There was no one else left in the building, just the three of them. Eric had closed the bar early, before his punishment was carried out. Pam waited a moment after he left the office then followed at a distance.

Sookie was back under her blanket, glaring out at him from the recesses of the shadows. She was very still but a low growl could just be heard. Eric walked towards her silently.

She didn't react, neither shrinking back nor moving forward, but her growl got louder. Once before her, Eric crouched down and unlocked her silver chains. She flinched involuntarily, a reaction to the caustic metal (though the chains were covered to prevent burning her instincts still registered the danger from them).

Once she was untied, Eric held out his closed fist. Slowly he uncurled his fingers to reveal what he held. Sookie still didn't move from where she crouched. Pam couldn't tell if the girl even glanced at what Eric was showing her.

Pam felt a barrier between her and Eric and knew he was opening himself to Sookie's pain while shielding Pam from it. Eric kept his promises. He'd told Sookie her Maker would feel all her pain and more, and so he would.

Suddenly Sookie launched herself at Eric. Pam flinched but Eric commanded her through the blood to stay. Sookie attached her mouth to Eric's and it took a moment for Pam to realise she was drinking the blood that still flowed from the wounds in his gums.

Eric let his arms go around his new child for the first time and held her as she drank his blood. Pam knew that while it added to his pain it also gave him some comfort to have that contact with her.

When the growls coming from the baby vampire changed in nature, Pam started to back away. Eric was strong enough to handle Sookie and she would want privacy for this.

Pam locked them in, just in case Sookie got free. Not that she'd get far and Eric would always be able to find her but it was easier to keep her in the basement.

[~~~]

Downstairs Sookie was still drinking the blood from Eric's mouth. He was not only letting her but helping, holding her in position and angling his mouth to make it easier. Letting himself feel the pain of her suction on his raw wounds.

He wasn't one for self-flagellation, but he had broken the law and had to pay. Tonight was his punishment and, though he would feel the pain for some time, after tonight he would have to return to his usual self. He was still Sheriff and he was a Maker again, his child needed him to be strong for her and he would be. But tonight he would feel whatever pain he had coming.

Unfortunately it was not Eric's _pain_ that Sookie was focusing on. Still in the grip of her new nature, especially with the bond to her Maker finally open, there was something far different calling to Sookie and it was a call she was in no place to deny.

Almost before Eric identified it, Sookie was ripping the clothes from his body. He knew he shouldn't let her do this, she would be angry when she remembered it later, but he wanted it too much himself. His own vampire nature was also clamouring to be unleashed and he hadn't the strength to fight so many battles at once.

He'd wanted Sookie anyway, and as a Maker he wanted to make his child fully his. On top of that his punishment left him needing the same things his new child was needing, comfort and contact and pleasure-release.

The working of Sookie's lips took on a different nature and before he'd really decided to, he was sucking her tongue into his mouth. She moaned with need and threw him backwards onto the floor, climbing on top.

She did little more than yank her panties aside before pushing herself down on him, forcing a groan of pleasure from his lips. Sookie hadn't made a choice to do this, any more than she'd made a choice to drink blood, her body needed what it needed.

Eric's body needed the same thing, and with feeling her needs as well as his own, he was unable to resist the pull. He thrust up into her, grabbing her hips. She curled her nails into his chest, leaving scratch marks, and threw her head back, her fangs gleaming in the light from the bare bulb.

They continued to surge against each other, each pumping harder and faster as time went on. Eric rolled them over so he was on top. Gripping her hair tightly he pulled her head back. With both fangs freshly taken, all his teeth were tender but his lips and tongue worked at her neck anyway, enjoying the taste of her skin. She continued to meet him thrust for thrust, her firm grip on his ass urging him on.

The edge was so close and they raced towards it, cantering faster and faster, each trying to outdo the other. A small part of Eric's mind knew this would be just one more thing she'd hate him for but right now she was completely his.

It might be decades before she would give herself up to him so thoroughly again. He pulled her mouth back to his and slowed their pace a little, drawing them back from the edge without losing the drive.

[~~~]

Sookie was not impressed with the effects of a Maker's command. It was the following night and she glared angrily at Eric no longer able to head out the door as she'd planned.

Eric stood calmly waiting. He didn't like using the command in this way, but the ability to do it existed for a reason. New vampires were not able to control themselves, their Makers had to be able to do it for them, and this was preferable to keeping her bound with silver.

The night before, he'd had Pam lock them both in the secure resting place below Fangtasia. It doubled as a holding cell so could be secured from the outside, keeping those inside contained but safe. Sookie had woken ravenous with thirst and Eric had given her some of his blood while Pam heated more donor blood for her.

As soon as she'd settled he'd brought her to his house. She hadn't said a word yet. She'd tried to attack him a couple of times – which he'd evaded easily – then she'd trashed some of his furniture – which he'd ignored. Then she'd sulked for most of the night just sitting in the middle of the room.

Eventually he'd suggested she eat something. He could feel her thirst and it bothered him but she was resisting any urge to feed herself for as long as possible each time.

When he'd gone to the kitchen to heat her some blood she'd tried to leave. He stopped her easily and dragged her back to the living room but he could see the determination in her eyes as well as feel it flooding her blood. She would continue to try leaving no matter how many times he stopped her so instead he'd _commanded_ her not to leave the house.

He watched as Sookie looked around the room planning her next move. When she first started walking towards the window he thought she was checking to see if the command only covered exiting by the door and he was surprised when she was able to put her fist through the glass since the magic should make it hard for her to leave the house in any way.

But then he realised it had been possible because getting out was not her intention. She flew at him, a large shard of glass gripped tightly in her hand so that her blood ran down her arm. If she was aware of her own pain she gave no sign of it, but Eric could feel it.

Even though she moved impressively fast, Eric had no problem out manoeuvring her, quickly forcing the glass from her hand and casting it aside. He wasn't worried about her attacking him, many children went for their Makers in the first nights of turning. He had.

Some anger was to be expected, it was part of the process, but he did want to check her wound. Though she should heal easily enough, with her weakened state from his earlier neglect he wanted to be sure that she was healing as quickly as she should.

He had her pinned in place before she could even look to see where her weapon had gone. Ignoring her frustrated growls, he forced her hand open. There was a small piece of glass left in the cut which he removed but he was pleased to see she was already healing as he licked the blood away. Her anger flared at his care and she struggled against him. She would be strong.

Satisfied by how much the cut had already closed he released her. She didn't even take a moment to assess before she was on him, hitting with everything she had. As she flailed against him, he moved them to the couch.

He sat with her on top of him but did nothing to stop or even calm her punches. She needed to get it out of her system and she would tire quickly enough since she had barely eaten. Eric was impressed by her technique, she knew how to punch with power and accuracy, causing maximum damage with minimum risk of injury to herself.

He saw her nostrils flare and the hunger fill her eyes as she broke his nose and his blood poured down his face. He still didn't fight her off, she'd give up attacking him sooner if she realised that even when successful she couldn't really do much damage, and he was comforted by the fact that all her attacks were designed to hurt but not kill. Despite splintering his wooden coffee table earlier, it was glass she'd chosen when trying to stab him.

Her strength was draining quickly and her instincts were taking over. Eric stayed passive as she lurched at him with new intentions. Her bite was hard, again she intended to hurt him, but lacked the accuracy to satisfy her need to feed. She growled and tried a second bite missing the artery again.

"Focus on the tips of your fangs, they are very sensitive," Eric directed softly. The ache from his own missing fangs intensifying as he thought about the process. "By running them over the skin you will be able to feel the point at which the artery nears the surface, you will sense the bite point if you focus on what you can feel through them."

Sookie bit down harder at first just to hurt him then pulled back and did as directed.

He could feel her searching, dragging the sharp points more roughly that was best but grasping the idea even though her hunger was stronger than her sense at the moment. Eventually she found the place and bit down a third time, hitting the artery and sucking hard on the blood that sprayed into her mouth. She let loose a groan that Eric matched.

Wrapping herself tight around him, arms and legs, she fed deeply with nothing but her bodily needs driving her. Careful not to dislodge her, Eric got up and, holding her in place, made his way to the kitchen.

Supporting her with one hand (though this was unnecessary, latched on as she was), he warmed bags of donor blood, drinking steadily to keep up with what she was taking. It wasn't the ideal way for her to feed, but at least she was learning how to bite and getting the blood she needed.

Between her youth and the fact that she hadn't fed properly so far, she drank far more than a normal feeding. Had she been feeding from humans she'd have probably killed two or three before she even settled to a calmer suckle.

Once he felt her tiring he took two final bags of donor blood with him and carried her to the light-tight room he slept in. She was still wrapped around him but despite dawn being some way off he could feel the call in her to rest. Having finally gotten the nourishment it needed, her body now demanded sleep in order to heal and strengthen.

Leaving the extra bloods on the night-stand, Eric carefully sat on the mattress with Sookie straddling his lap where she was still wrapped around him. After unwrapping her legs, he slowly lay back until she was fully on top of him then rolled over so they were both on their sides. Sookie was still drinking but actually taking very little blood, Eric suspected she was simply avoiding the risk of conversation if she stopped.

Once they were settled she finally withdrew her fangs and Eric felt his neck heal. She was very drowsy by this point and it took her some effort to pull her head up to look at him, her eyes heavy with the dawn that was still some time away.

"I hate you," she said with much less vehemence than intended.

"I know, but you need to sleep now, you can hate me some more when the sun sets again," he replied, pulling her back down. She automatically snuggled into him. As his child, whenever she felt vulnerable she would be drawn to his shelter and the protective strength it offered.

Eric stroked her hair and back softly as she was pulled under and remained holding her until he was sure she was completely dead. Carefully he sat back up and drank the two extra bags of blood.

Even if she hadn't fallen asleep so early, he had always resisted the pull of the dawn easily and woken early. As he'd aged this had become more pronounced, he had no concerns that Sookie would be awake when he wasn't, even while he was weakened.

He wondered whether Sookie had inherited anything of this trait, or would develop a different skill.

Pam had the skills of an assassin; even by vampire standards she was fast, silent and deadly accurate in her attacks – though ironically she preferred face to face combat. Eric liked to think she'd got some of that from him, it wasn't like her human life had given her any fighting skills (though the fighting spirit was all her).

Would Sookie have special skills? Not all vampires did. What of the skills she'd had in life? He doubted her talent for finding trouble would have been vamped out of her but what of her telepathy? And what of her heart? Until she was stronger he wouldn't be able to tell. He wouldn't allow her to be exposed to any risk until she was ready, then they would see.

He flitted upstairs and found supplies to board the window. Before 10 minutes had passed he was back in the room with Sookie. Looking down at his sleeping child he smiled softly, though he knew he shouldn't. Part of him was glad of what had happened, not the neglect but that she was his, finally and forever.

Now she was quiet he could really take in her appearance. Something of her tan had held in her colour so while still being pale there was a richness to her skin which once she'd started to feed regularly would be very appealing. Her full figure combined with the firm strength that came with the blood made for a very attractive shape.

Her hair was still beautiful but currently a mess with dirt (probably still left over from her time in the ground) and blood (from her fights with him) knotted into it. She was also dressed very strangely but he could come up with no explanation for that.

Eric fetched a comb and carefully combed her hair through for her, knowing she'd hate to be in this state once she was more herself. She would need to shower but he thought it would do more harm than good for him to do that part while she slept, which was also why he left her in the strange and very mucky clothes she wore.

Eventually he felt the first pulls of dawn and stripped down, leaving his shorts on in respect for her modesty, and wrapped himself around her. He ran his nose over her cheek, like all parents there was no better smell to him than his children, especially when they were young.

As they aged, vampires developed more of their Maker's scent, enough to be recognisably family anyway, but in the first few weeks their scent was mostly their own, she smelled like Sookie but in a vampire way.

He wondered how her scent would develop, her own smell was so distinctive most would not notice more than that, though his child already smelled enough like him to identify the connection if looked for.

He would happily bury his head between her breasts to fully appreciate her scent but knowing she would not approve he settled for tucking his face into her neck and pulling her partly on top of him.

[~~~]

By the time Sookie awoke the following evening, Eric was out of the room and up in the kitchen. He had only moved when she showed the first sparks of vivification, enjoying the only peaceful closeness he could have with her at the moment for as long as possible.

When he returned to the bedroom carrying a mug of heated blood (he'd decided she might prefer to feed this way rather than from the bags at first) she flew at him in attack again.

"Wait," he ordered. She stumbled to a stop and bared her fangs at him. "I will release you in a moment but before I do, I thought you should be made aware of the choice you are making." He watched her face until she accepted she had to listen.

"Good. Now, I will allow you to attack me again if you wish. However I have here some donor blood, no humans were harmed for its collection," he said with a smirk. "I thought you may prefer to feed this way," he held up the mug, "rather than wrapping yourself around me again, which I assure you is what will happen if you keep trying to ignore your hunger."

He waited a moment and felt when she relented before releasing her and holding out the mug. She grabbed it off him and retreated to the furthest corner of the room, watching him sulkily. He feigned not looking so she would drink the blood while it was warm and wandered over to the closet to take out one of his shirts.

"You may wear my clothes for now but obviously you will need your own. Would you like the clothes from your human life or prefer Pam to select something new for you?" Sookie would not be leaving the house until things were much better all round, both in terms of her own control and relations between them, so not for a long time.

When she didn't answer, Eric just placed the shirt on the bed for her and moved to open the door to the ensuite.

"The bathroom is through here, you really should shower, you are covered in me." He purposely phrased the comment in the way most likely to make her clean herself and sure enough she flew into the room instantly after looking down at herself and realising it was true.

She closed the door with a slam behind her, he was glad all the doors down in the sleeping quarters were reinforced, she didn't yet have a handle on her new strength. She had moved gracefully and quickly for one so young and Eric felt a warm rush of pride, she was going to be a spectacular vampire once she settled to her new existence.

"I can feel that, you ass," she yelled at him through the door. Eric chuckled but reduced their bond to give her the feeling of privacy without shutting her off completely to the loneliness.

Once the water was running and she'd stepped into the shower, Eric felt some of the tension in her ease for the first time during her waking hours and was glad for her relief even though he knew it wouldn't last.

He waited in the living room taking the time to get some work done on his laptop, much of his mind was preoccupied with wondering what she would get up to tonight and what moods she would go through. When he felt she would be out soon, he heated more blood in her mug and left it in the bedroom so she could drink it before coming upstairs.

While Sookie was still sorting herself out in the bedroom, Eric felt Pam arrive. He had mixed feelings about this. On the one hand he thought it would be good for Sookie, he hadn't felt any animosity from his new child for her sister.

On the other hand Pam was very angry with him and he hated to feel the disappointment in her. He didn't think he'd ever let her down so badly. She had softened towards him when she realised he wasn't shutting her feelings off but letting himself experience her disapproval, and she had hated carrying out the punishment no matter how mad at him she was.

Of course part of her upset was that she was spoilt and had liked being an only child. Eric had never seriously considered making her a sibling but even when the subject came up jokingly, Pam had gotten upset, though she tried to hide it. Now she was jealous because she knew Sookie would, by necessity, take up most of Eric's focus for a while and it was impossible to tell how long the new vampire would need her Maker.

Pam had already made her own way in the world and though happy to be back with Eric, didn't 'need' him for her survival, but each child was different. Some were ready to be free after just a few decades, others took centuries. A few never really got to the point of being self-sufficient, usually their Makers would grow tired of the strain and find a way to release them to the final death as kindly as possible.

Eric didn't think Sookie was likely to have this problem, it was just a matter of getting her to accept what had happened, and then she would be fine. He sent Pam a waft of affection, feeling her pleasure before she returned to annoyance. He would give her this last night to hold it against him then she needed to get over it and help him with Sookie. By having her involved Eric hoped Pam would take to sharing him more easily.

"She hasn't killed you yet then?" Pam asked coming through to find him after pottering about in the kitchen for a while.

"She tried," he replied casually.

"Is that what I felt?" Pam had clearly felt the weakening effects of Sookie feeding off him.

Usually it wouldn't be much of a problem but with the loss of his fangs Eric would be weakened generally until they grew back, not enough to be noticeable to others but Pam would feel it, as would Sookie if she knew what she was feeling or had anything to compare it to.

"She needed to feed." Pam understood what he was saying but was surprised.

"You ran out of donor blood? I brought more, a large stock, I thought she might need it." That was what Pam had been doing in the kitchen, restocking the fridge.

"That is not the problem, she has been refusing human blood," Eric explained trying to keep his tone light as if it were no big deal.

"I think my sister might have some cannibalistic tendencies, when she needed to heal as a human, after the Maenad attack, she insisted on human blood, now she is a vampire she will only drink vampire blood." Eric gave Pam a look to make sure she knew not to tease Sookie just yet, she was too fragile emotionally. Pam returned the look with one that said Sookie's fragile state was _his_ fault but that she would behave.

"So has she told you what happened yet?"

"No, she is too angry with me. I thought perhaps she might speak to you. Maybe my other-self attacked her." Eric was still scared this was the case and hated not knowing what had happened. Making a child was not something to be taken lightly, the circumstances were important.

"I think it is unlikely. You did not hinder my tie to you, your feelings for her were genuine, you were very protective," Pam reassured him. She accepted that it had happened when he didn't know better and that even now he had no memory of it.

It was his stubbornness in keeping his tie to Sookie closed, so he hadn't realised sooner what had happened, that she was angry at him for. Well that and it just seemed sudden and ... OK maybe she was a little jealous.

"Then how can it have happened? You said she wasn't hurt by the witches." Eric was frustrated and his fang sockets ached with the emotion.

"Debbie Pelt," came a small voice. Eric had felt Sookie approaching but had decided to ignore her until she wanted to make her presence known. Pam had followed his lead. She was still skittish and desperately needed to feel some sense of control.

"What?" Asked Pam. Sookie was avoiding looking at Eric, she was still mad at him, but she could feel his frustration and guilt at not knowing what had happened. Though she blamed him for many things, she knew it was not him, either version of him, that had killed her, that had been the _were_.

"Debbie Pelt was waiting for me in my kitchen when we got home," she said quietly. The other two vampires waited silently not wanting to push her now she was talking. "She shot me." Eric flinched protectively, a sharp pain running through his gums and Sookie flinched away from him in response.

"Where is she now?" Pam asked, pulling Sookie's attention back to her. As Eric had suspected, Sookie was OK when it was Pam asking the questions. Pam could feel Eric's hurt at not being able to care for his new child as he wanted, but Sookie's needs had to come first right now.

"Eric, the other Eric," she corrected with a brief apologetic flick of her eyes towards the Viking. "He killed her but it was too late for me." Sookie started to hug herself and Pam could feel Eric practically shaking as he held himself back from comforting his child when she was feeling so fragile.

But Sookie was turning away, shutting them out as much as possible. "He just wanted to help." As she defended the amnesiac vampire her affection for him came through clearly. Eric was stunned by it but he suppressed that response to consider later, Sookie was confronting her own death.

It was a process all new vampires had to go through, along with mourning their human lives, even Pam had done it, though comparatively briefly. For Sookie, it would be hard.

"But I couldn't speak," she continued. "He asked but I couldn't tell him what to do so he ..." She sobbed and slid down the wall into a crouch. "I couldn't breathe." She was sobbing in earnest and rocking herself.

Eric kept his eyes on the floor as if not looking at her would lessen his pain. Pam moved forward carefully and reached out a hand. When Sookie didn't flinch from her touch she crouched besides her and hugged her in comfort. It wasn't really something Pam would have done usually but she did it as much for Eric's sake as Sookie's.

Sookie rubbed at her wet face with the back of her hands and looked at the blood smeared on them. "Ew. Well that's just great! Now I'm going to get hungry again," she complained, quashing her upset and wiping her bloody hands down her front, staining the shirt of Eric's she had put on.

Her hair was still wet from her shower and Pam carefully stroked it back behind Sookie's shoulders so she wouldn't get blood in it. She also had on a pair of the lycra boxer shorts Pam had brought for Eric over a year before that he had never worn.

Pam was going to have to get her sister some decent clothes no matter how much Eric might like to see her in his.

"What happened to the were's body?" Pam asked. They needed to be prepared if Sookie was likely to be a murder suspect, plus even she could feel Sookie's attempt to deny her hunger. Pam knew, whether Sookie liked it or not, thinking about the dead _were_ would make her more hungry, hopefully enough to make her feed willingly.

"I've no idea," Sookie said glancing again at Eric. "I was dead by that point."

"I must have cleaned up," Eric said. He came across as distant but Pam knew this was because he was keeping all his reactions under tight control so as not to upset Sookie.

"That would be a first," Pam said winking at Sookie. To everyone's surprise Sookie giggled.

"He never picked up a single towel the whole time he stayed with me," she said to Pam. The two girls shared a look and Eric tried to look offended.

"Come on, let's get a drink," Pam said lightly, helping Sookie up and giving Eric a glance that separated the women from the men, or the children from the Maker, or something. Perhaps it was just those that picked up their towels versus those that didn't. Whatever it was, Eric allowed himself to be the 'them' to their 'us', knowing any feeling of inclusion was so important for Sookie right now.

He left them to warm some blood, unworried since Sookie couldn't leave the house due to his command. She was too young to even attempt to fight the ruling. (Most children figured out, at some point, that it _can_ be possible to fight the restraint for a while, though eventually they'd have to obey. The longer before they obeyed, the worse their punishment.)

Even if Sookie tried to disobey he'd feel it immediately. He decided to get on with some work knowing he was going to struggle to keep up with his responsibilities while training such an unwilling fledgling.

Pam chatted on while getting blood from the fridge and heating it. She looked surprised when Sookie searched the cupboards and placed two mugs on the side but accepted the suggestion, dividing the blood between the two for them both.

[~~~]

She was talking about urges and instincts – though in a general way, when Sookie froze, Pam's comment reminding her of an incident she'd been ignoring since it happened. She'd been out of it, completely lost to her vampire nature at the time, but she remembered everything. Shame, horror and self-loathing filled her. She had to get away, what if it happened again?

Eric had commanded her not to leave the house and she could feel her _body's_ need to obey. But _her_ need to defy was stronger, she knew it was. She looked at the heated blood in front of her and downed it, then she grabbed Pam's cup and downed that too. Pam was surprised but said nothing as she went to the fridge to get more blood to heat.

With Pam distracted Sookie used the strength she'd just swallowed and ran out the back door as hard and fast as she could, which turned out to be pretty hard and fast. She could feel the command pulling her back and she wondered what would happen when her strength, that was already waning, was gone.

Despite her vampire abilities, she didn't get far before she knew it wasn't going to work. She felt him coming but could not outrun him or attempt to hide or anything. Her whole being was shaking with the effort of disobeying the command it was under. Then he was there, his arms around her from behind, holding her firmly and pushing calm into her blood as he blew shushes into her hair.

"Don't touch me, let go," she said not as insistently as she intended.

"What has upset you Sookie?" he asked gently. He was being so ... so ... _nice, _damn it, just when she wanted to hate him. _Now_ he wants to understand her, to help her. She hated him for it, just as she hated the way his blood comforted her, his words soothed her and his touch ... his touch.

She tried to make her skin crawl as it should, she forced herself to remember what had happened before and felt her fangs make an appearance. It was anger that had brought them out, she told herself, ignoring the throb that said otherwise.

"Oh," Eric said knowingly.

"Get _off_ me," she said again. "I don't want you touching me, I don't want you anywhere near me."

"I understand," he said not even loosening his grip. "Come, let's go back to the house and talk about it."

"I don't want to talk about it."

He said nothing more but started moving them back.

"Eric, I'm ..." started Pam as they re-entered the house.

"It is not your fault Pam, Sookie was forbidden from leaving, I did not think she would be strong enough yet to get even as far as she did." A part of him was thinking it would be typical if Sookie's skill was disobeying her Maker.

"Do you need me?" Pam asked trying to hide her surprise at what Sookie had managed.

"Not for tonight. Sookie and I have some things to discuss. Come back tomorrow night, or at this dawn if you would like to stay the day with us." Pam nodded and left.

Eric took Sookie to the bedroom and sat them on the bed. As Sookie was still pinned in his arms she ended up on his lap.

"Eric no!" she insisted. He could feel her panic, and everything driving it.

"Relax, I will not allow anything to happen," he reassured her.

"Oh really?" She questioned, her tone accusatory. Eric let her feel his shame.

"I should not have allowed it to happen that time either, but you know now how strong those instincts are, how powerful the pull. That we can feel them in each other makes it stronger."

"Those are **not** _my_ feelings" she insisted. Eric laughed a little.

"Which is why I will not allow anything you do not want to happen, to happen."

Lifting her off his lap, he sat her next to him. He felt her contrary urges to move both closer to and further away from him then felt her control both as she turned to look at him instead.

"How?" she asked seriously.

This was real progress, though it was typical that when she finally accepted she needed him to teach her it was over the one thing he wished she didn't want to learn right away. He thought about how to explain controlling the instincts to her and she watched him deliberate for a moment before a strange mix of emotions from her distracted him.

Her look was calculating before she slowly leaned forward and kissed him. Eric felt his desires rise up and pinned them back down while trying to work out what she was up to. Then he felt it, her searching him just as he was searching her. Clever girl. She was monitoring his own effort to control himself.

She pushed the kiss further and Eric managed himself carefully to only go as far as she led and no further. Kissing her felt strange, the raw holes where his fangs had been torn out still hurt and would constantly until they were fully regrown, but even the pain of that did not overpower the pleasure he was feeling.

Sookie moved in even closer and his hands started to stroke her. Despite his control, his body was reacting and Eric noticed the little blip of pride Sookie felt when she registered the effect she had on him.

Along with controlling his own instincts he was carefully monitoring hers. At the moment she was managing them OK, her own desire _not_ to be intimate keeping her balanced, but along with pushing him she was also pushing herself. He could still feel her searching out his control and trying to mimic it. He would have to stop her soon or she would go too far and then get angry with herself and him.

_Just a little more_, he told himself as they explored each other's mouths. Her hands were starting to grip at him and she was no longer taking measured steps to push at his resistance but was letting the kiss take on a life of its own. He tried pushing some of his control at her but she pushed it away angrily as her urges and feelings began to get confused under the strength of them both.

Gently he detached himself and she glared at him. Having awoken one, her other instincts reared up as well and her eyes filled with hunger. He pulled her against him again, tucking her head into his neck, and felt her mouth searching, once again not finding the right point.

"Remember what I told you, use your fangs, focus on your senses," he urged quietly. She bit in the wrong place, too overpowered to concentrate. "Shhh, easy, feel your way, it's OK, there is no hurry," he soothed as she growled in frustration.

She was chewing at his skin too angry to try properly. "Stop!" he ordered and felt her freeze. "Focus," he said still firmly but without the command. He felt her move her focus to her fangs. "Try again," he said. She ran her fangs over the area, with less finesse than she would be capable of but with enough attention to find what she was looking for.

He felt an echoing pull in his fang sockets as she found the place and bit down, pain stabbed at his gums as his blood ran into her. She must have felt his pain because she began to search for the source. He stroked her back and praised her so she'd focus back on feeding.

As she got into it, once again she wrapped herself around him and he lifted her gently onto his lap so she could settle comfortably and he could get up. He'd need donor blood again to replenish as she fed.

Eric could feel how temping it was to continue letting her feed this way, how much he liked the closeness, the intimacy of it. Of course vampires did feed each other on occasions, usually family members only, but it happened. However it was considered an emergency procedure, not something that should be done regularly.

There wasn't quite the frenzied aspect to her feeding this time, which was both good and bad. On the good side it meant her blood levels were balancing out and she was closer to the thirst level she should be for her age rather than the extra she'd needed through his neglect. On the bad side, without the desperate need to just get as much blood as possible, her other needs were making themselves known.

While she fed, a distinct rhythm started to develop in her suction and the slight movements from her that echoed it. Walking through the house to the kitchen, he started to speak to her. He spoke of practical things, of the nature of vampire politics, of the structures and rules she would have to learn, of the dull everyday responsibilities of his job, all those things he was using himself to focus his mind away from the call of his body to answer the call in hers.

Though it was more of a struggle for her than him, he could feel the distraction helping so continued throughout her feeding. Eventually he could tell she was drinking only to avoid facing what had happened and gently he urged her to pull away.

Reluctantly she withdrew her fangs and pulled back, leaning back in after a moment to lick the wound. Though this was, of course, unnecessary, Eric was pleased with the action. He had the distinct impression she'd done it because she felt it would be rude not to.

By this point Eric had moved to sit on the couch and Sookie was sat straddling his lap. As unobtrusively as possible he helped her move to sit next to him. He turned to pick up the extra bag of donor blood he'd brought through with them and she got up, moving to a chair the other side of the replacement coffee table.

"There are too many urges, the pull is too strong I cannot control it," she said dejected.

"When you learned to shield your mind, you didn't do it first time did you?" She shook her head. "But you worked at it until you could, and you will with this. Plus this time I am here to help you, to teach you."

"But you don't want to teach me this," she said. He laughed. Of course of all his feelings _she_ would have picked up on his reluctance. She often spent so much energy looking for the hidden she missed what was in front of her.

"Not completely no. But it is my duty as your Maker. And I do want you to learn to be strong," he said honestly. Sookie moved again and curled up next to him, nestling against his side. He wrapped an arm around her.

"Will I feel like that with everyone?"

"No, you will feel the desire to feed – if you do not control your thirst, and you will feel the desire to have sex, but it will not be the same as the desire we feel together."

"Because you're my Maker?" Eric was silent for a while. "Eric?"

"The Maker-child bond is unlike any other," he said, not answering her question.

[~~~]

Sookie was already dozing, though not due to the pull of the sun, when Pam slipped quietly into the bedroom towards dawn. Eric lay on his side next to Sookie on the bed, she lay on her back, her posture as impersonal as possible.

Usually Pam would sleep naked but in deference to Sookie she slipped one of Eric's shirts out of the closet before undressing quietly.

As the sun got close to breaking the horizon Sookie suddenly flipped onto her side and threw her arm over Eric. Gently he pulled her in closer, tucking her body against his.

"Bastard," she said pushing her face against the bare skin of his chest.

"I know, Sookie," he agreed.

Pam waited until Sookie's body relaxed then gave Eric a harsh look.

"You are spoiling her," she said.

"You know what I did," he replied a little defensively. Pam was right, but the echo of Sookie's loneliness still lingered in their blood.

"Yes, and so does she, but _you_ did not know what you were doing at the time. And that mistake does not require you making another by not doing what you must as her Maker. You let her feed from you again too, didn't you?"

"She keeps refusing human blood." Eric knew this was not why he was letting her bite him and so did Pam.

"She will never survive if you do not teach her what she must know." Pam tucked herself behind Sookie giving the new vampire the double comfort of two sets of family blood.

"I spoiled you too," he pointed out.

"Not like this. I'd be happy to spoil her the way you spoiled me." Pam's fangs made an appearance and Eric instinctively pulled Sookie a little closer to himself.

"She does not want that," he tried to cover his possessiveness as protectiveness.

"She does not want to admit she wants that." Pam gave him a look to say he wasn't fooling her. He could also feel the sting of hurt she was feeling but trying to hide.

"It amounts to the same thing." Eric stroked Pam's head soothing her jealousy.

Mollified, Pam pointed out: "She wanted _that_ when she was still human. Judging by how much you stank of each other she got it too. It is pointless for her to deny herself now when it would help her."

At heart Pam was a practical person, and despite not wanting to share her Maker she did like Sookie. Still she knew that Eric and Sookie's interactions contained a romantic element that she and her Maker had never shared – lust sure, but never romance.

She knew Eric loved her, cherished her, and she would always be his first-born, he'd never even been tempted to make a child before he met her, but his tie with Sookie was different and in a way deeper. She didn't want that relationship with him herself but she wasn't entirely happy he had with it someone else.

Still, Sookie was by far the best sister if she had to have one and Eric had taught her there was no point worrying about the things you cannot change. She tucked herself in tighter behind Sookie and felt Eric's contentment at having them all together. Eric and Sookie were both mostly concerned with keeping Sookie Sookie, it would be up to Pam to teach her about being a vampire she decided.

[~~~]

It was a few nights later Eric got the call he'd been expecting for a while. Sookie had settled into a routine of reading, ignoring him, and occasionally trying something stupid which always ended with her feeding from him.

Tonight they were both sitting in the living room, she hadn't spoken at all so far that night. Eric was starting to wonder how long he should let this continue. He'd been giving her leeway because of those first days of neglect but this couldn't go on.

"I think Sookie is dead," Bill said the second Eric answered his phone. Sookie was across the room, reading. She was curled up into a ball on his chair (which she appropriated as often as possible knowing it was his seat), and she'd brushed her hair over her far shoulder so he had a nice view of her profile. She looked up at him having heard but other than that didn't move. Eric felt anxiety from her but the stronger emotion was curiosity.

"What makes you think so?" Eric asked watching Sookie in a way that let her know he would deal with it, unless she wanted to.

"I'm back at her house." Sookie's eyes narrowed and Eric could feel her irritation. He'd never liked the way Bill behaved regarding Sookie but he had to admit to himself his thoughts on the subject previously had been purely selfish, he'd never really thought about how Sookie might feel about it.

"Stalking her again I see."

"She rescinded my invitation but I was able to enter."

"So even though she made it clear she did not want you to, you went into her house." The pause on the line made it clear Eric's dig had hit home as did Bill's next comment.

"Eric that is not the point, it looks like it's been cleaned, thoroughly, too thoroughly, but I can still smell her blood and a hint of death. Someone died here Eric and ..." Sookie put her book down and uncurled herself. Her anxiety remained and Eric snapped at the vampire on the phone.

"Bill I am not sure why you are calling me. Either Sookie is dead, in which case there is not much either of us can do about it, or Sookie is not dead, in which case surely her request to be left alone still stands."

"All of her clothes are still here." It was as if Bill hadn't heard a word Eric said, he was so caught up in his 'discovery'.

"Going through her closet as well? You really are doing the stalker thing thoroughly aren't you?" Leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs, Eric let the amusement sound in his voice, he wanted Sookie to know he was relaxed so she might be as well.

"She helped you," Bill said with an 'a-ha!' in his voice. "She helped you so you have to help."

"Help with what exactly?" As he realised Sookie was trying to repress a smile, Eric was surprised; she found the conversation funny.

"We need to find her." Bill was almost hysterical and Eric wished once again that he'd hadn't bothered to find him in Jackson.

"Sorry Bill, I'm really far too busy, but I will grant you time off to look, how's that?" Bill hung up.

Sookie started laughing immediately but after a moment she sobered and looked at Eric. She was still on his chair and she pulled her knees up, wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on top.

"Do you think he did that often?"

"Go through your things? Probably." Sookie frowned deeply in response then pounced on him with her eyes.

"Did you?" Eric was stuck, she wouldn't like his answer but she wouldn't like being lied to either.

"Only once," he admitted.

"When? And Why?"

"When? Shortly after we got back from Dallas, while you were separated from Bill and had given me access. And why? Because I was curious about you."

Sookie rolled her eyes, clearly not satisfied his curiosity justified the intrusion. "I didn't know you then," he added.

"You don't know me now," she rebutted.

"_You_ don't know you now," Eric pointed out. Sookie humphed.

She tipped her head sideways to rest her ear on her knees so she could stare out of the window. Since she hadn't picked up her book again, which would have indicated an end to the conversation, Eric continued to watch her. After a moment she humphed again, she was still irritated but Eric didn't think it was with him for once.

"I'm hungry again. How do you stand it?" He could see as well as feel her effort to keep her fangs in. Apart from when she was biting him he knew she never liked her fangs to descend. Uncrossing his legs, Eric leant forward on his knees. He knew how much she was struggling with her lack of control over her new needs and desires and he softened his voice to reassure her.

"It will lessen, your thirst is worse because you are so young and you did not get the blood you needed right away. Had I been younger you would not have survived in any rational form." Directing his gaze at the floor, Eric poked his gums with his tongue.

It was only right he should feel the pain of his regrowing fangs as he recalled the state Sookie had been in. He knew he would have punished any other Maker that allowed their new-born to get into that state much worse, but it was Sookie's hurt and anger, that she told him every night how she hated him, that was his true punishment.

She had lifted her head again and was looking at him curiously but he continued to stare at the floor.

"So when I was after that guy, before I was arrested, I'd be like that?" Eric looked up surprised.

"You remember?"

"Only flashes, I worked the rest out." Eric nodded, he'd experienced flash-recall.

In the early years, before he'd grown stronger and learned control, there had been occasions when he'd lost it, been a slave to his instincts. The memories you retained were like looking through someone else's eyes at still pictures. It was always horrific to recall, to know that mindless being had been you. He forced himself to meet her eyes, there was not as much accusation in them as he'd expected.

"Yes, you'd be like that, and worse." Sookie just nodded back, sighed, then he felt her let it go.

"I'm gonna need new clothes. I was going to ask for the ones from my house but I don't like the idea that Bill's been pawing through them when I'm not there." She shuddered slightly and Eric pictured there being a bonfire sometime in the near future.

"Understandable."

"I'll need to get to the bank." Eric knew, though she meant what she said, she had also seen it as an opportunity to get out, possibly get away. Luckily he had an out she couldn't complain about.

"You need more than fifty thousand for clothes?" He asked innocently. She looked at him like he was mad.

"What are you talking about?"

"Pam informs me I owe you fifty thousand dollars." He saw understanding click in before she tutted and shook her head.

"It was thirty thousand and I'd forgotten all about it." She didn't pout but Eric suspected she wanted to.

"I will pay you _fifty_ thousand, but either way it should be enough."

Seeing she wasn't going to win Sookie dropped that argument and moved to another.

"I'm not letting Pam shop for me either. I can go myself."

"No, you can't," Eric said with the tone of command but not the Maker's push behind it. Sookie looked unhappy.

"That reminds me," she said lightly, though Eric could feel the blow coming.

"Reminds you?" he asked anyway, since she wanted him to.

"I hate you," she said, and went back to her book. Pam's voice came back to him, _you're spoiling her_. He laughed aloud then appeared in front of Sookie making her drop the book in surprise.

"No you don't," he said, just as he would have done had she still been alive. Then before she could argue he kissed her. She fought at first but eventually started to respond. As soon as she did he pulled back, not wanting to tempt himself. "See," he said smugly.

"That is not me, it this damn blood tie thing – you probably made me do that."

"I did not, and you know it. I can feel you, and you can feel me, when I let you."

"What?"

"As your Maker I control the bond between us."

"That's not fair!"

"It is not meant to be fair. I am your Maker, I _can_ command you." As much as he was trying to be playfully firm with her, he couldn't be too harsh. He let her know he wouldn't command beyond what was needed, well mostly anyway.

Eric was still right before her face and Sookie reached out a hand and pushed his top lip up lightly. His sensitive fang sockets ached but he didn't pull away.

"They haven't come back yet," she commented eyeing the slight indents in his gums above his regular teeth. Eric moved his face back, free of her touch.

"No, not yet. It will take a while."

"You usually heal much faster." Sookie was confused and upset.

"Fangs are always slow to regrow, the older the vampire the longer it takes."

"I thought you vampires healed faster the older you get,"

"In every other respect this is true for _us_." She still wasn't accepting that she was a vampire. He could feel she was still viewing her condition as a temporary thing.

"Is that why ..."

"There were many reasons to choose this punishment Sookie. I am truly sorry for what happened to you, but I am not sorry you are my child."

"I don't want to be a vampire."

"But you _are_ a vampire, that is no longer a matter of choice for anyone."

"It could be."

"No it couldn't!" Eric didn't hide the anger from his voice.

"Sookie I forbid you from harming yourself, from even _trying_ to harm yourself or from asking anyone else to harm you," he commanded with more strength than he thought he'd ever given a command before. Sookie punched him in the mouth. He caught her hand before she could strike again or leave.

"And that is the last time I will allow that," he said sternly.

She glared at him but didn't speak. He could feel her pain. She was clinging to it, terrified of letting it go and moving on, of truly accepting her new existence. She was also trying to deny her thirst again. Eric sighed, he'd hoped she was past this.

She pulled her hand free of his but didn't try to attack him again. He knew she wanted him to move away from her, that the urge to bite was calling, but he stayed where he was.

"Bill will know eventually, won't he?" She said trying to distract herself.

"I won't let him near you unless you want it." He knew he should be stricter with her, as his Maker had been with him, but she was too much like him for it to be likely to work. He had been more like Sookie than Pam, he had not wanted this life either, at first. He'd fought against it, sought to meet the true death, clung to the hope that he could still reach Valhalla.

His Maker had teased and punished him, he had enjoyed Eric's suffering, enjoyed forcing him to obey. Eric had hated it but once he had accepted, it had been easier.

"My brother too, and Sam and ... I'll have to tell people." Sookie was still talking, her anxiety rising, and Eric realised how different it was now.

"Before, they would only know you had died, all human ties were broken immediately. It was never safe to stay near your family. Your human part would be drawn to them, to their love and comfort, and then your vampire part would be drawn to their blood. New vampires who stayed near their families often killed them – then the rumours would start."

Eric felt the ripple of fear that ran through Sookie and captured her eyes with his. "I would never allow you to hurt the people you love," he said firmly. After a moment she nodded, she knew this and she trusted him that much.

Eric continued with his history lesson. "Back then, if, after the death of someone, many of their family members started to die, people suspected vampires. They did not fully understand what we are but they knew to dig us up during the day and burn us.

"In some places every corpse would be dug up a few years after burial just to check they were not vampires and to destroy them if they were. Smart Makers would bury bones in the place of their awakened child to leave no suspicion and then move far away.

"It was a very different world, for humans _and_ for vampires. You can keep your life now, or much of it, but I am not convinced that is better."

"I'm not either," she agreed sadly.

"I will tell them you died if you want, we could move away," he offered. Perhaps a fresh start would be good for all of them.

"What about your job?" Sookie was far more shocked by his offer than he'd expected.

"It may take some time but I should be able to arrange a transfer, swap with a sheriff from another area or even another country." It might mean a demotion, to get something quick, but he wasn't too worried about being powerful politically, he was still older than the vast majority of vampires, which came with its own power.

"You would do that?" Sookie really didn't get yet that while she belonged to him as his child, that meant he had responsibilities to her too, and one of those was making her new existence possible for her.

"If it is what you need to come to terms with your new life."

"But you don't even want me!" She blurted out, explaining her surprise at his offer. Eric was shocked into a pragmatic response.

"That is neither here nor there, you are my child, it is done." They were both silent for a moment, then Sookie's laugh was bitter.

Eric was still stunned. He hadn't planned on being a Maker again. Since vampires came out, Making had become more problematic, those that wanted to be vampires were mostly unsuitable and changing someone who didn't want to be changed ...

Before, the Maker could teach a potential child what it was to be a vampire, now they had their own ideas, mostly wrong, and wouldn't be dissuaded. On top of that, he certainly wouldn't have changed someone like Sookie against their will. There was a big part of him that wished it had never happened, for her sake and for his.

The pertinent point was, it was true, he hadn't wanted another child and he hated that Sookie had been turned against her will. He had been ignoring those feelings though, it was immaterial, she was his child, there was no changing it. What was shocking was that Sookie had picked up on it, Eric thought that part of him well buried. She seemed to know what he was thinking.

"I've felt it before," she laughed bitterly again. Eric realised it must have been hard for Sookie's parents, having a child with an ability they didn't understand or even really believe in, and that she would have been able to hear their struggles. "It seems I'm destined to always be a disappointment to any parents I have." Eric could feel her sorrow, old sorrow and new sorrow joining together to reaffirm each other.

"Sookie you are not a disappointment to me. A surprise perhaps, unexpected and unplanned but that is not the same as a disappointment." He knew she wanted to believe him but also that she didn't. "Do I have doubts? Concerns? Of course I do. I've told you before what a big responsibility Making is, I do not take it lightly.

"You never wanted this life and it is my responsibility to help you accept it, to learn to enjoy your new existence. Of course I have doubts and concerns. But you are beautiful and strong and quite as troublesome as ever. I am proud to be the Maker of such a fine vampire, you can feel that too, can't you?" He challenged.

She wanted to deny it but their blood confirmed his words.

"You could have saved yourself the bother of me though." She still wasn't sure why he hadn't just let her meet the sun.

"You never wanted children, when you were human, did you?"

"No, I'd never have risked passing on my disability." Though she was trying not to look, her eyes kept being drawn to Eric's throat, her thirst growing.

"Yet if you had given birth to a child, would you abandon it? Would you leave it out in the forest to the elements and wildlife? I assure you many have done such things in the past." Sookie was so obviously horrified there was no need for her to answer.

He knew he should get some donor blood for her, or command her to get some for herself, but he found himself turning his head to look out of the window instead, encouraging her gaze. "Yet to ask me to do this, to leave you to the sun, as if it would be a kindness?"

"Huh!" She hadn't thought of it like that at all. Sookie wrenched her eyes from Eric's carotid. She was silent for a long time and Eric resisted the urge to examine her emotions closely, just letting the bond _be_ without exploring it.

"You really don't remember any of it do you?" She said out of the blue after a long silence. He hadn't been able to get her to tell him anything about his amnesia, and he didn't want to command the information from her. He could feel suspicion from her every time he asked. Her eyes were locked on his neck again.

"No."

"Must have been a shock for you." Eric let her feel his 'ain't that the truth' rather than saying it.

"I remember the meeting with the witch and then waking in the woods. I swear I didn't know you were there." Something inside her relaxed.

"I know." And she did.

She leaned forwards and let her fangs run out. Brushing them gently over Eric's skin she searched for the bite point. She didn't hold him, nor him her. When she found it she hesitated. One last time, she told herself. Then bit.

[~~~]

The next night Eric had to go into the office for a while, he'd put it off as long as he could but, if he were absent too long, others would become suspicious.

He ran through a long list of commands he was tempted to give Sookie for while he was gone, but he knew she'd hate him for it and he didn't want to back-step on the trust they were building up. (This was the same reason he'd ruled out chaining her with silver though he had considered it – for her own safety).

In the end he repeated and added to the command not the leave the house, arranged for Pam to watch her and as a final precaution explained to her one of the reasons he was so determined to keep her indoors at the moment.

"We know Bill is looking for you and I am sure he will check here. He will not dare trying to get into the house or even risk leaving his scent close but that will not prevent him having it under surveillance."

Eric could feel Sookie's fear, her anger, her irritation with Bill, and knew her desire for him not to see her would be enough to keep her indoors. Even so he warned Pam to keep a close eye.

Pam intended to keep a very close eye. Eric, for his own reasons, was slacking when it came to one of the most vital learning points in a new vampire's training. The knock on the door came less than 20 minutes after Eric had left.

"So Sookie, which would you prefer? Male or female? I ordered one of each so you'd have the choice," she said leading the two fang-bangers into the living room where Sookie was gripping the couch like she was worried she'd float away if she didn't.

[~~~]

Eric had felt a strange array of emotions from Sookie while he was gone but as Pam remained calm he hadn't been worried, just curious. As he made his way back to his house he could tell Sookie was unhappy but Pam still seemed fine.

It was only when he picked up the human scents as he got to the front door that he figured out what must have happened. He ran again through Sookie's emotions over the evening before he entered.

Sookie was down in the bedroom, from what he could tell she was pacing. Pam was in the living room reading a magazine – despite his anger she looked unconcerned.

Most new vampires killed or nearly killed their first meal. Traditionally Makers allowed this, it was good practice when it came came to the new vampire's training. Vampires had to learn how to kill, not just physically but mentally, and how not to kill their food. Allowing the death of the first meal ensured the new vampire was more careful at their next feeding and gave them their first taste of death.

But that was before the revelation, and even if procedure _hadn't_ changed, Eric would never have done that to Sookie. She'd already had her first taste of death when she'd killed Bill's Maker, and she'd been human then.

"The humans?" He asked first. She didn't even bother looking up at him, just turning the page of her magazine as she answered.

"They're fine, there was a little neck damage but I healed him using the blood we stored from that vagrant you staked last month, and they were both glamoured to forget everything about the visit. All they'll remember is they met with some vampires, got bit and need to take their vitamins. Sookie is sulking but really it wasn't that bad for a first feeding – or a first human feeding at least." She glanced at him accusingly.

"I told you she wasn't ready."

"And I told _you_ she needed to do it anyway. She's fine."

"She is far from fine and you know it."

"And _you_ know that she only feels so bad because she enjoyed it. Besides we _both_ know it is you that is not ready to let her stop feeding from you. It's not good for her." Eric looked guilty but didn't reply, he needed to check on Sookie.

She was waiting for him when he entered the bedroom.

"I hate you. Do you see now? Do you see what I am?"

"Sookie calm down, the man is fine, Pam took care of it." Eric kept his voice and emotions as calm as he could. He wanted to hold her but, as she was on the brink of attacking him again, he knew she wouldn't welcome it.

"I'm a monster Eric. I'm a monster and I shouldn't be here."

"You are not a monster Sookie," anger was creeping into his voice, he tried to quash it.

"I am, and you are too for doing this to me. Please just let me go." She was trying to be angry with him but it was herself she was disgusted with. It bothered Eric far more than her anger would have done.

"Stop being so melodramatic," snapped Pam coming in behind him. "Really Sookie, you made less fuss than this when you were the one being attacked and almost drained." Eric glared at Pam but Sookie's shock drew his focus back to her. He could see her considering Pam's words. Pam pushed her advantage. "What Bill did to you was far worse. The man you bit tonight won't even need his blood replacing, it will replenish naturally. You didn't take too much."

"Only because you stopped me!" Sookie's anger deflated and she sank onto the bed dropping her head into her hands. "Why couldn't I stop? I wanted to," she insisted. Eric took a step towards her.

"Because you are so young, so new to it all. You need more blood than Pam and I anyway, on top of that you are still learning to control the stronger urges and desires that come with your new life. It will get easier. It takes practice, and time." Sookie looked at him, mostly he felt shame from her.

"You could make sure, you could command me never to hurt them." But he could feel she didn't really expect him to, she wasn't even sure she wanted him to, she was just scared, scared of the dangerous side of her new nature.

"Sookie, would you have vampires glamour everyone to behave? We could tell thieves not to steal, liars not to lie, killers not to kill?" She shook her head, free will was important, it made people who they were and she knew that. "You can and will control yourself, you do not need me to do it for you, but while you are learning I will help you. Pam should not have done this while I was not here."

"You wouldn't have brought them here?"

"No not yet." Eric felt like squirming under her intense gaze though he hid it as best he could without shutting her out. He knew he was not pushing her to feed from humans because he liked her feeding from him, and he knew that was wrong of him. Sookie came at him, fangs out, and he caught her gratefully. This time she got the right point first time.

"I don't know why I bother," Pam remarked leaving the room in a huff.

Sookie didn't feed much, she didn't really need it. After her near disaster with the human she'd been downing donor blood to keep her thirst at bay and hopefully the killer instincts that came with it. She'd bitten Eric because they both needed the comfort. She'd been trying so hard not to need him, she'd been ignoring the fact that he needed her to need him. Her bite was an acknowledgement of both by them both. It was a big step.

[~~~]

Sookie's training became a much more joint effort after that. She continued to feed from Eric at times, she wasn't ready to have a sexual relationship with him and this gave them both the intimacy they craved. But she also learnt to feed from humans. She preferred men, the bigger the better.

This wasn't due to any attraction, she could never feed from those she felt attracted to, she sent them away, but with big burly men she felt she was doing less damage, that they could afford to lose what she took, that she was less likely to hurt them if she got carried away. Eric always stayed with her when she ate, ready to command her to stop if she started to lose control.

Learning to respect the power-structures was harder for her. Eric had to give her a few harsh lessons on obedience – painful though they were, they were nothing to what might happen to her if she were to disobey someone other than him. She _had_ to learn that sometimes not speaking up was about being smart not about being weak. Eric hated teaching her these lessons but they were necessary if she was to survive.

Learning to fight went better. Sookie had felt helpless enough times to enjoy the advantages of her new strength – though she hated the idea of using it against those weaker than her, she worked hard at learning how to fight off other vampires, even Pam was impressed.

But Sookie was still neglecting a vital part of her vampire nature and as the weeks passed they all started to feel the strain.

"Eric you cannot let this continue, what about her shifter or the were? Maybe one of them ..."

"No!" Eric growled out, the idea infuriated him though he knew it shouldn't.

"Well you won't do it and you won't let me. What happens if she loses control at the wrong moment? She'll hate you far worse than if you push her to give in before that happens."

"Fine I'll talk to her about it," he said insincerely. Pam tsked.

"Sookie," she called. Her sister appeared instantly. She'd grown to enjoy her speed, appearing in rooms at top speed just because she could, looking proud if she managed to be quicker than they expected. She'd clean the house from top to bottom just to see how fast she could do it. Eric had told her he had a cleaner but Sookie responded by cancelling the service the next night while he was out.

"Sookie you need to have sex," Pam said practically. Sookie went pale(r), and moved away from both other vampires immediately.

"Why do I need to?" She said stubbornly.

"Your body has needs, your nature has needs, like the blood, and if you do not feed these urges they can become so strong you cannot control them. Somehow Sookie managed to go _even_ paler.

"I'm managing it," she said, not meeting either pair of eyes. Embarrassment flushed over her and if she'd still been human she'd have been bright red.

Eric and Pam had both been aware of Sookie's 'long showers' and what they felt from her during them but Eric had instructed Pam not to mention anything.

"That won't do. Look, I've tried to give you time but we are all connected, we feel the strain when you deny yourself like this. You can choose who and how but not _if_ – this is something you must do."

Pam was pushing it a bit, it wasn't _as_ vital as all that, but it was necessary. Denying yourself required strong control, constantly controlling oneself that much took effort and energy, making the vampire weaker. Pam would not allow her sister to be weak in any way, especially when it was so unnecessary.

Eric knew he should say something. He couldn't bring himself to mislead Sookie the way Pam was doing but nor could he bring himself to correct what Pam was suggesting, so he stayed silent. There was a long silence as Sookie sank into herself, thinking hard. Pam and Eric waited, appearing more patient than either of them felt. Eventually Sookie roused herself and turned to walk away.

"Fine," she threw over her shoulder. Eric and Pam looked at each other, neither of them knew what that meant.

[~~~]

Several nights later, Sookie left Eric's house for the first time since she'd been taken there. Eric had decided it was time she faced being around people. None of them had forgotten the issue of Sookie's telepathy, but none of them had mentioned it either.

With the humans Pam brought for Sookie to feed on, Sookie shielded automatically, there was no way she could have borne it if she'd heard their thoughts, no matter what they were thinking. She'd found it easier than it used to be and was able to stay shielded the whole time she was near the human meals. But because of that she didn't know if she needed to be – if she could still hear them now she was a vampire or not.

Pam drove them all to an event over the border in Arkansas. Eric had arranged a safe-house in the area so they would not need to worry about getting back the same night and it was far enough not to worry about bumping into anyone that Sookie knew.

The Arkansas vampires had arranged an annual event called the 'Battle of the Fangs.' Several vampire bars in the southern towns would host a series of live band events all over a single weekend. Those that drew the biggest crowds were the winners. There were a mix of vampire and human performers and often fans would try to hit several places in one night to get a glimpse of all of their favourites.

The evening started well, Sookie quickly discovered her 'disability' was the same as it had always been, she could hear humans and pick up some stuff from other supes, vampires, as she already knew from Eric and Pam, remained blank (except for those occasional flashes which she intended to keep private forever – maybe they'd never happen again). As she'd already known, shielding required the same process but seemed easier than it had, even with the crowds, her shields were stronger and stayed in place more easily.

She'd had plenty of donor blood before they left so she found she could control her thirst around the humans, occasionally a throat would catch her eye and she'd find herself dwelling on the thought of sinking her fangs into it but Eric or Pam were always there to distract her, for which she was grateful.

None of the other vampires paid her much mind at all, though a few were keeping their eye on Eric. His age made him powerful and only a fool would ignore such power in their midst; few vampires were fools, those that were didn't last long. There was nothing to cause concern, just the usual cautious respect that Eric had gotten used to from the mostly younger vampires he encountered. (He wasn't sure what had happened to all of those that were old when he was young but there were very few still around that were older than him, and only a handful of those in America.)

Sookie tried to relax, she didn't much like the idea of interacting with the fang-bangers but as none of the vampires did, this was seen as normal behaviour. Eventually though, the strain of sitting in silence being stared at became too much. When a band she liked took the stage, Sookie decided to dance instead. She'd always loved dancing, she saw no reason to deny herself now.

At first Eric watched benignly as she joined the throng and started to move her body, he loved to watch her dance, but as he spotted several others in the room noticing her, human and vampire, he felt less happy about it.

"Let her dance Eric, let her choose, it's you she wants, she'll accept that soon enough," Pam whispered to him. So Eric kept his calm façade while Sookie continued to dance, occasionally even dancing with someone, though she showed no particular interest in any of them, which made him feel better.

Then a new man moved in to dance with her. He was human and average looking to Eric's mind, but Sookie seemed far more interested in him than she had anyone else. She seemed to study him for a while before moving in to dance more intimately.

Eric was ready to rip the guy's head off the second he touched her but it was only when Sookie started kissing him that Eric lost control of himself and stormed over, insisting to her it was time to leave. Sookie looked surprised but agreed immediately, he thought he sensed relief along with her confusion.

The drive to the safe-house was silent. Sookie had the impression Eric was angry with her _and_ Pam, if it had just been her she'd have put it down to her doing something wrong – after all, it's all very well Pam telling her she had to have sex because she was weakening them all by not doing so but she wasn't keen on the idea (no matter what her body wanted) and she really had no idea how to go about it.

The guy wasn't like the others, he'd been hurt and was looking for a one-night thing to feel better, to prove to himself he was still desirable. Sookie wasn't particularly attracted to him but he'd seemed like the best of a bad bunch so she figured she'd try at least.

Even before Eric had interrupted she'd known she couldn't go through with it. At least she'd enjoyed dancing and maybe Pam wouldn't be so mad at her since she'd tried.

But now Eric was angry, at her and Pam, though she wasn't sure why. Was it over the guy? He hadn't said she shouldn't when Pam was telling her she needed to have sex.

By the time they got to where they were staying and Sookie had showered and eaten, the first pulls of the sun could be felt – at least by her, Eric and Pam seemed fine. They were both in down time so she left them to it and went to bed alone.

[~~~]

They were up before her but she knew from the scents that they'd both rested in the same bed as her as they mostly did. She was grateful for it though she hadn't said anything to them.

She found them chatting in the kitchen about the other bars in the area that participated in the Battle of the Fangs as if nothing had been wrong last night. Pam handed her a mug of blood as she joined them, not breaking from her argument to Eric.

"The Bite Point is better, it's more out of the way so you get less tourists."

"Yes but the fang-bangers there are die-hards, it's the only reason they travel so far."

"What about Night Crawlers then?"

Eric insisted they should all eat before heading out and left to find some humans while Pam and Sookie got ready. Sookie's 'attempt' at hooking up for sex the night before had not impressed Pam, or so Pam said. She insisted that Sookie had to try again and try harder and that this need for them _all_ to eat before going out was due to Sookie's neglect of her needs.

Sookie felt awful, she had not realised it was so bad but Eric had made the point that they all needed a good meal of fresh blood and usually he and Pam would not need to feed just to go out. Pam must be right. She didn't see Pam's smug little smile, nor did she know that Eric and Pam had agreed to say they all needed to eat so that Sookie wouldn't feel bad.

Tonight's club was different from the one the night before which had been similar to Fangtasia. Night Crawlers was much more a vampire bar for vampires, the lighting was such that humans would see little more than shapes and shadows, there were many even darker corners where it would be hard to notice if someone had a sneaky nibble on a neck and the music was loud enough that unless you were a vampire it would be hard to hold any kind of conversation.

Sookie loved it, with the vampires being silent to her and the minds of the humans being filled with the music that bombarded their inferior hearing she barely needed to shield at all. In her elation she left Eric and Pam immediately to mingle with the crowd and enjoy the single-thoughtedness of it.

She hadn't enjoyed her dinner. Eric had brought her a woman. Certainly she tasted good – all blood tasted like nectar to her still but she was starting to notice the variations more, to develop preferences. The woman had been delicious and had very much enjoyed Sookie biting her. She'd rubbed her hands up and down Sookie's back and moaned with pleasure.

It made Sookie feel dirty. Her vampire side loved it, she could feel her nipples harden and the threat of a satisfied growl in her throat but her human side still felt it was wrong, and the more she enjoyed it the more wrong it felt. She knew Eric picked her meals with care and he always stayed near, ready to command her if needed, but she also knew he was impatient with her reluctance to enjoy her food, she hated him for that and herself for hating to disappoint him.

All in all she'd almost have preferred to stay hungry – except for the risk to any humans she came across later. She wanted to try and turn her anger to something useful. Throwing herself into the crowd she let herself hate the vampires for being happy with this life, and hate the humans for being alive, and hate herself for being neither. With all that hate what did a fuck matter?

She purposely used the crudest language she could think of in her head as she tried to approach what she must do. This was not the Sookie her Gran had raised, this was the Sookie her new family needed her to be. So many people cared nothing about having sex whenever and with whoever, why shouldn't she?

She spotted a human man that was reasonably attractive. He wasn't too 'vamped' up. There was something about that fact that he was tall and wore jeans with a black t-shirt that appealed to her and she moved in. He seemed surprised that she'd singled him out but took very little encouragement to respond.

She placed his hands on her hips and pressed her body against his. He felt warm and something about that heat, and the pulse she could feel no matter where she touched his skin, and the open vulnerability of how easy it would be to take everything from him; his body, his blood, his life. She knew what the vampire in her wanted and she was angry enough to let it have it.

He wasn't a great kisser but he improved as she gave him a little direction using her fledging glamour skills. Gradually she moved him towards one of the darker corners and was starting to work on his belt when the large hand grabbed her by the back of the neck and dragged her from the alcove.

Eric's anger bombarded her through the blood and his eyes and his aura. She was both glad he was angry and terrified of what he might do. He practically carried her from the club with Pam trailing behind them. After his initial glare he was refusing to look at her.

She didn't struggle, she went limp, neither helping nor hindering his progress. Once outside he hooked him arm around her from behind and took to the air. Within minutes Sookie's head started to clear. Away from the pumping blood and press of warm bodies her human side returned to dominance and she started to wish Eric would just let go so she would plummet to the earth.

She could still feel Eric's anger but it didn't really touch her. She was too busy with what she'd just discovered. This other Sookie inside of her that could do all the things she was supposed to do as a vampire, it was good that she'd be able to find a way to take the pressure off Eric and Pam but Sookie had no idea how she was going to reconcile that other Sookie with herself.

[~~~]

It was only after they got back to the house that she realised Eric must have flown around for a while. Pam was already there, as was her car. She was reading a magazine and looking bored. She gave no reaction when they entered.

Eric finally let go of his youngest child and she walked away from him planning an early morning. As she moved away she felt Eric's anger flare behind her and she turned with a cringe as if expecting a physical blow.

"Tell me why," he demanded as she looked at him.

"You know why," she replied glaring back at him, her fear receding. He looked too angry to speak further so she retreated to the safe-room they slept in.

She had just removed her jacket when he entered behind her. She turned on him with her fangs out.

"Just what did you think you were doing?" He demanded.

"What I was told to do."

"No one told you to do _that!_"

"I hate you."

"As you have made perfectly clear."

They were both in attack stance as they yelled at each other but neither actually attacked.

"What was I supposed to do? Fuck that girl you fed me earlier?"

"No."

"Is that what this is about, you getting gratification from some girl on girl action?"

"You know damn well it isn't."

"Then why bring her for me? You know I hate that."

"You hate that you like it, which is not the same thing."

"You want me to fuck, you don't want me to fuck, make up your fucking mind!"

"You want to fuck! What I don't understand is why him? Why refuse me and pick some ... some ... _breather_."

"Because I don't care about _him_," Sookie let slip.

"How does that make sense?" Eric demanded. It was taking so much control not to just take Sookie whether she wanted to be taken or not he was shaking.

"Because _you_ don't care about me like that and ..."

"The fuck I don't!"

There was a long silence as Eric and Sookie took in what they both just admitted which was broken by Pam who was leaning against the wall looking at them.

"Well about fucking time."

[~~~]

Sookie had grown to understand Eric in a way that would never have been possible while she was human. So much of him was about being a vampire. Controlling the urges, dealing with the politics, knowing how to survive.

The vulnerability had been a big eye opener. After Eric had mentioned that Bill was looking for her she understood. Until then she'd felt perfectly safe in Eric's house, her day-sleep hadn't bothered her at all. If anything it had been a relief to fall to the sun, to not be under the strain of her new existence for a while.

Suddenly the thought that someone could come in while she was dead for the day, they could take her, hurt her, do anything to her and she wouldn't be able to do a thing, wouldn't even know until she awoke. If Eric and Pam hadn't been resting with her each day she'd never have coped with her fear of the sunlight hours at that point.

She knew Eric was too good at being a vampire for his resting place to be anything but as secure as possible and he was right next to her but it was a revelation. No matter how powerful, for those hours she was as helpless as a human baby.

He and Pam had also been instructing her in the general nature of vampires and their interactions. Some lessons had been more painful than she thought she could bear but she'd been able to feel how much Eric hated punishing her and that got her through.

Through it all she'd grown to care more and more for her Maker. Part of this was simply because he was her Maker, she understood that, had grown to accept it. But she could feel that part of her and there was another attraction, a separate one that, had she still been human, would have been all her own. Eric didn't care for her in that way.

Eric was her Maker, he was a good and caring parent in that respect but he wasn't romantic and she'd always known he had no interest in that kind of relationship. Besides both he and Pam had told her how vampires viewed such feelings, they were human and weak and should be expunged from all vampires. She was still enough herself to want her 'partner' in life to be just that, to care for her and love her in the same way she did them.

So when Pam had told her she had to have sex, that she was weakening them all (if it was just her, Sookie could have lived – metaphorically – with it) she'd realised she had a problem. Sookie had always believed sex and affection should go together. Her brother had had many liaisons with girls he didn't care about but Sookie had always hated the idea of it. However, the only man she cared about like that now was Eric and Eric didn't return it.

She knew he'd have sex with her, that he wanted to, but that was about instincts and being a good Maker. If she couldn't have love, or affection, she'd go as far the other way as possible. She'd determined to find a guy she wasn't repulsed by but didn't care for, have sex in a perfunctory way and leave it at that. She couldn't have sex with Eric when she wanted him to be her boyfriend and he saw it as nothing more than a fuck.

But now they'd been arguing and the walls of certainty had rippled then crumbled away. All her solid ground had shaken and everything she thought she'd known about how he felt was suddenly in disarray.

Gaping like a fish is not an attractive quality on anyone, Sookie had learned long ago as a human not to show shock on her face and vampires were expected never to give themselves away so obviously but despite all that, there she was, gaping. She'd have felt worse only Eric, super-vamp, had a similar expression on his face. The only one not gaping was Pam who looked smug.

It was impossible he meant what he'd said, that he wanted her the way she wanted him. Eric didn't like feelings, he'd told her so himself. She closed her mouth and tried to think, she couldn't leave, she couldn't get away from him. He was coming towards her, she could feel herself shaking but there was no point in running. His arms swept around her, one hand cupped the back of her head, directing her lips to his.

Her body rejoiced immediately, it had been wanting this, but Sookie herself was not so sure. He could claim her of course, he was her Maker, but her heart, what of her heart? Eric's kiss was not violent, it was not angry as his words had been, she could feel him inside her, feel him in her blood.

She knew they were connected and that he controlled the connection but it seemed he was opening himself up to her, letting her feel him as he could feel her. With her head tipped back, the blood that escaped her eye ran into her hairline. His lips continued to urge her, to encourage her to feel what he was letting her feel.

Not breaking the kiss, Eric used his foot to close the door on Pam, who huffed but retreated upstairs mostly feeling relief. It was Sookie that started them back towards the bed, Eric let her lead, let her pull him down onto her, let her remove his t-shirt. They still had not broken the kiss, except for a brief moment when Sookie pulled his shirt over his head. Then Sookie pulled back, looking into Eric's eyes; affection and desire had turned them a rich violet.

His expression questioned what she was thinking but he waited patiently in silence.

"It's strange, not needing to breathe, we can just kiss and kiss with no breaks," she said. He could feel her conflict, between it feeling wrong and feeling right.

"Think of it as having more options, we can stop or we can not-stop, it is up to us. We can even breathe if you wish, but that we do not have to means ..." his eyes deepened and she knew he wanted to get back to the kissing part. She laughed.

"For someone who is immortal you're in an awful hurry," she pointed out still giggling. Eric said nothing but just continued to look at her with passion and desire, he was waiting, but his impatience would have been obvious even if she couldn't feel it. She laughed again and rolled them over so she was sat on top. "Let's take it slow," she said lowering herself towards him. Sookie was still fully dressed and he still had his jeans and shoes on, Eric felt things had already been moving far too slowly but he let her take control.

She brushed her lips against his, a teasing touch, hinting at a kiss without quite being one. She lifted a little so they were eyeball to eyeball and he could see the mischief dancing in the blue. Kissing him lightly again she began to run her hands over his face, neck and shoulders, keeping her touch gentle. She was driving him crazy.

The constant throbbing in his fang sockets intensified and the partly regrown teeth dropped down. Feeling his pain Sookie backed off and looked concerned. Gently she lifted his lip to examine the small ivory points that had emerged.

Eric fully accepted his punishment, the pain, the humiliation of not having his fangs, but he didn't think he could deal with Sookie pitying him. Sookie showed no pity at all, she wasn't gentle with him, she licked one fang, then the other – they were so tender pain shot through his gums but excitement clenched his stomach. The pain didn't completely bury the other ways in which his fangs were sensitive and a growl of need vibrated through him.

Eric didn't enjoy pain but he did enjoy the power of overcoming it and Sookie was pushing him to do just that. She was acknowledging that he could take it.

They spent hours exploring each other, Sookie had learnt to use her fangs to find the artery in Eric's neck, now she used them to search the rest of his body for interesting bite-points. The tickle of her fang-tips as they ran over his skin was excruciatingly tantalising but Eric endured it, knowing his turn would come.

When it _was_ his turn Eric taught Sookie a great deal of what her new body was capable of, he had never hated the rising of the sun more than that dawn when it forced an end to their explorations of each other. Sookie could not fight the sun, not even for a while, she was too young still.

As had become her habit she told him, just as she snuggled against him to sleep, "I hate you," only now they both knew she meant the opposite, in fact, he realised, she'd meant the opposite for a while, how had he missed that?

The End


End file.
